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Originally Posted by thedoc
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Originally Posted by peacegirl
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Originally Posted by thedoc
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Originally Posted by peacegirl
If a woman knows that her husband is not going to ask her to fulfill unnecessary favors (favors that he can do for himself), it creates a desire in the woman (this is human nature) to want to help him by asking if there is anything she can do for him, even if she has to go out of her way on some occasions. In the new world you would hear this, "Honey, is there anything you would like me to bring to you before I come upstairs?" Or, "Honey, are you thirsty, I don't mind bringing you that lemonade you enjoy?" That is much nicer than having him yell down to you to bring something to him when you're in the middle of doing something, which is a euphemistic way of telling you that you better had, or else get blamed for not fulfilling your duty as a wife. This constant imposition has caused serious riffs in relationships. Why wouldn't a husband or wife want to do what they are capable of doing for themselves, when they know that the less they impose on the other, the less friction there will be, which would be the fault of the one making the demand?
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Bullshit, this is not human nature, while some couples may opperate this way it does not apply to everyones preferences. I know of couples where the wife waits on the husband hand and foot, and both are content and happy with the arrangment, but in many of these cases the husband works and the wife stays at home. |
Who is arguing with this thedoc? If they are both happy, that's great. This only applies when someone isn't happy with the arrangement.
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Originally Posted by thedoc
In other cases the husband is content to do for himself and get his own things like drinks and serving himself meals. There is no one arrangment that suits all people and there are as many combinations as there are couples.
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That is true, but there is one thing that cannot be ignored, and that is the desire of both individuals. If they are not happy to do something, it becomes a sacrifice, and if this is done long enough, frequently enough, and with the expectation that someone should always give in, there's a potential problem.
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Originally Posted by thedoc
Human nature is variable and cannot be nailed down to one scenario that will fit all situations.
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No it can't, but there are certain situations that will draw out a person's loving side in contrast to their resentful side. |
You're waffleing, in your post above you implyed that every relationship would opperate according to a fixed set of rules and I pointed out that every relationship is different and "One size does not fit all" and now you are agreeing with me. So which is it? does 'human nature' mean that all relationships are the same, or is each situation unique? |
This is not dependent on different relationships. The right-of-way systems still holds. If someone does not want to do something that another expects, that person has the right-of-way no matter what the circumstances. Do you get that? If you get angry at this person for not doing what you want done, YOU ARE BEING SELFISH. Yes, people will give in to keep peace, but this is not healthy. Let me repeat this for your understanding: People will become so accustomed to giving in to the other person because they've been brainwashed that they are being selfish if they don't, does not mean these principles don't work.
