Color him unamused: Arthur Schopenhauer, above, has a bone to pick with peacegirl, below.
TRENDS IN CYBERSPACE
Report: If Only Peacegirl Could Understand Motherfucking Modus Tollens, We Could All Stop Posting in This Lame-Ass Thread and Get On With Our So-Called Lives
Famed German pessimist philosopher Arthur Schopenhauer Also Cites Perplexing Failure of Veteran Internet Dumb-Ass to Grasp Aristotle's Law of Non-Contradiction
FREETHOUGHT-FORUM (Internet News Service) -- If only peacegirl could understand motherfucking modus tollens, we could all stop posting in this lame-ass thread and get on with our so-called lives, it was revealed late Saturday.
"The problem with peacegirl is not so much that she fails to understand science, though she clearly does fail to understand it," said the late Arthur Schopenhauer, the famed German pessimist philosopher. "The more basic problem is that she fails to grasp elementary logic."
In her pathetic Internet posts on light and sight, Schopenhauer noted, peacegirl has argued that while it takes light about eight minutes to travel from the sun to earth, the light would nevertheless be instantly on the retina if God turned on the sun at noon. At the same time, Schopenhauer pointed out, she denied that the photons from the sun either traveled to the earth or were teleported there.
"It's pretty fucking elementary," an irritated and slightly drunken Schopenhauer said during an interview in his underground graveyard office, his laptop open to peacegirl's execrable "Revolution in Thought" thread. "Under peacegirl's retarded scenario, if the light came from the sun, and arrived on earth instantly, then it either traveled there instantly through intervening spaces, or was teleported there without traversing space. There is no other logical option. But she claims it did neither. If it did neither, then it did not come from the motherfucking sun. Duh-oh!"
"Light coming instantly from sun, P, implies either travel or teleportation, Q. P implies Q; if not Q, therefore not P. See? Then the light could not have come from the sun after all. Motherfucking modus tollens!"
Schopenhauer quickly cautioned that modus tollens should not be confused with modus ponens, though they are logically related, and it especially should not be confused with the formal fallacy of affirming the consequent, but, "whatever," he added. "Really, who gives a shit? Jesus Christ, why are people wasting time arguing with peacegirl? Why don't you read my goddamned books instead? They're all online! And I'm better than Nietzsche, who basically just stole from me, just like Heidegger stole from both of us."
"God," he went on, "I need a drink. How long have I been dead? This peacegirl piece of work shows why I wrote, hundreds of years ago, that the world would be better off if life had never arisen and it had remained in a crystalline state, like the moon."
Schopenhauer went on to explain that peacegirl's claim that light can be at the eye some eight minutes before the photons reach the eye is also a violation of Aristotle's Law of Non-Contradiction. "But beyond that, it's just fucking unbelievably stupid," he added. "You don't have to be fucking Aristotle or even fucking Einstein to see just how fucking stupid that is."
"Also, I notice that this idiot spent years attributing a ridiculous quote to me that I never said. I don't appreciate it one fucking bit. Her dishonest idiocy is enough to wake the dead, as it has in fact done with me."