[Vivisectus]

Still, rest easy in knowing that you have made an impression. I will never forget the translucent robes and sexy jackets, or the special sex-word, or the lovable genitalia and the teenagers who would marry for life after jumping each other’s bones spontaneously after swanning around in skimpy clothing a lot - nomatter whose bones they jumped, as personalities would no longer matter, or even exist as far as I can tell.

Thanks for the amazing features of efferent sight that is not transmitted but still seen, which in no way means that any information arrived in any way as nothing moved, and anyway our brains only know what to see because our other senses tell us what to see.

Thanks for calling us meanies, dimwitted and lazy and continually whining that it is all just so unfair and that no-one will just give you a chance, and for blaming us for viciously analysing what you wanted us to look at, even though we somehow all never read the book at all, like, evar.

I am especially grateful for the man on Rigel who can send us the answer to a question we have not asked yet, and the amazing FACT that if we turn on the sun, we would be able to see it, but not the guy standing next to us for 8 minutes.

I also loved the rules of the road for married couples, which as far as I could tell consists mainly a long list of shit you were not allowed to bug Seymour with as he carried out his AWESOME research that was VERY IMPORTANT and SCIENTIFIC and MATHEMATICAL, also. Nor will I ever forget the unforgivable affront of the professor who never even gave Seymour the chance to explain how his education was far superior!

I feel I have learned a lot about wilful ignorance, special pleading, moving the goalposts and the noble art of sticking your head in the sand and pretending there is nothing there to upset your crazy ideas. Normally I see it only in religious fundamentalists, and it is refreshing to see this brand of crazy and not have to read the Bible all the time. I am sure you will be happy to hear that I am often told that I have never read that book either, that have not understood it, and have not given it a chance because – shock horror! – I did not share the person’s conclusions on it.

Please check in now and again and let me know how the revolution is going! I can guarantee you it will not happen, which will not stop you from remaining absolutely convinced that all criticism is either mean-spirited, ignorant or just wrong because your father said so.