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Originally Posted by Vivisectus
People have always assumed that woodpeckers are birds because they seem to fly, have feathers and lay eggs. We will now try to lift the veil from this pre-conceived notion that woodpeckers are birds and show, quite clearly and geographically, that this us not the case.
First off, you must understand that when a woodpecker flies, he does not do so in the same way that other creatures or objects fly. When a real bird flies, it does so by generating lift, that is to say by creating an upward force that is greater than the downward force of gravity. The woodpecker, however, does no such thing. It in fact reduces the gravitational pull of the earth on its body - thus allowing it to leave the earth. It does this by creating an anti-gravity field, caused by the magnetic forces created by the friction of its feathers as it flaps its wings up and down.
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Vivisectus
You may very well ask at this stage, "Oh Vivisectus, you indomitable fountain of penetrating discernment and devastatingly attractive prophet of incontestable truth, how can you say such a thing? Surely the flapping of the wings IS what makes the woodpecker fly?"
My answer is - it is no such thing. The flapping is merely a prerequisite that allow the bird to generate the forces that allow it to defy gravity - it has nothing to do with lift, and it is not air that is pushed downward by the wings that generate lift to make the woodpecker fly, but the anti-gravitational pull it generates that pulls it upwards in stead.
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There is nothing about efferent vision that goes against the laws of physics Vivisectus. But your creative analogy got me laughing.
