A lesson in statutory construction ...

[D. Scarlatti]

... involving whether a deer carcass is an animal for the purpose of having sex with it.

Bryan James Hathaway, 20, of Superior faces a misdemeanor charge of sexual gratification with an animal. He is accused of having sex with a dead deer he saw beside Stinson Avenue on Oct. 11.

A motion filed last week by his attorney, Public Defender Fredric Anderson, argued that since the deer was dead, it was not considered an animal and the charge should be dismissed.

“The statute does not prohibit one from having sex with a carcass,” Anderson wrote.

He heard it was deer season in Wisconsin. He has an alternative view, that's all.

The Webster’s dictionary defines “animal” as “any of a kingdom of living beings,” Anderson said.

If you include carcasses in that definition, he said, “you really go down a slippery slope with absurd results.”

Eew.

Anderson argued: When does a turkey cease to be an animal? When it is dead? When it is wrapped in plastic packaging in the freezer? When it is served, fully cooked?

Nice move, a timely appeal to Thanksgiving.

Assistant District Attorney James Boughner said the court can use a dictionary to determine the meaning of the word, but it doesn’t have to.

“The common and ordinary meaning of a word can be found in how people actually use the word,” Boughner wrote in his response to the motion.

When a person’s pet dog dies, he told [Judge Michael] Lucci, the person still refers to the dog as his or her dog, not a carcass.

“It stays a dog for some time,” Boughner said.

And an appeal to puppies by the State.

In April 2005, Hathaway pleaded no contest to one felony charge of mistreatment of an animal for the shooting death of Bambrick, a 26-year-old horse, in order to have sex with the animal.

Dude has a problem.

Full story

[Dingfod]

Could be worse, it could've been a warm apple pie.

[D. Scarlatti]

Now that would really spoil dinner, especially if it was served post-coitus.

For all the bitching I do about legal reporting, this story is really excellent and to the point.

[California Tanker]

Isn't wisconsin where those gravediggers were released because there was no law againt necrophilia? If you can't rape a dead human, I don't think you can rape a dead animal.

NTM

[Widget]

We had pork tonight.

[D. Scarlatti]

[erimir]

I don't think he did anything he should be punished for by having sex with the deer carcass.

Perhaps he did in some other way (for example, indecent exposure).

It's still gross. I just don't see why anyone should care. If the animal's already dead, then I don't see why it matters what happens to the body. Assuming he's not doing things like killing animals simply for the purpose of having sex with the carcasses (which would apply in the case with the horse).

[Tanda]

If only he'd thought to just bring the deer to his place for drinks first. Nobody would be the wiser.

eta:

[D. Scarlatti]

The Smoking Gun has a copy of the defendant's motion to dismiss here. It actually contains the following quip:

As Billy Crystal noted in The Princess Bride (1987), "There's a difference between mostly dead and all dead."

[Freddy]

He killed a horse to have sex with it and he did not get any jail time for that, a felony that he pleaded no contest to?