Two Minutes Hate

[lisarea]

Originally Posted by Megatron

First off, the illegal distribution of child pornography started with her. Not the second time when she was harassed into doing it, the first time when she did it of her own volition.

Yeah, and she was punished pretty severely for it. Not as severely as some kids who've been criminally charged; but there's no mention in that story of anyone else getting any kind of reprimand or punishment for what they did. Just her.

Originally Posted by Megatron

Finally, "attitudes like mine"? What the fuck? What attitude in particular? Is it wrong somehow that I think 13-year-old girls shouldn't be sending nude pictures over cell phones? Are you really fucking saying that? Because other than that, I've pretty much agreed with everything said in this thread, and I'm just as pissed as anyone else that no one is doing anything about the asshats that drove this girl to suicide.

Yes, attitudes like yours. Not you as a person, but that attitude that you and many or most other people share to varying degrees. They're pervasive, and we're all influenced by them. The girl in the story was when she blamed herself for the harassment, as is her friend who was quoted, the administrators who punished her so severely, and everyone who harassed her.

The attitude pisses me off. I hate it. And I think we all probably have to some extent. It's the default. It's not until you stop and think about it and examine your own attitudes that you can start to acknowledge it and realize what a horrible thing it is, and how completely it colors your perceptions.

I don't hate you. You're a good guy. I hate that one thing you think sometimes. I hate that really fucking hard. I hate it when anyone thinks it, including me.

That's some fucking gonzo hyperbole there, and if you're actually comparing me to that, then fuck you. Seriously.

I didn't compare you to that. I'm explaining why sites like that moderate comments. If you needed to stop and take a Xanax because of something I said to you, imagine what it's like for women who've been sexually assaulted to have to see people excusing sexual harassment and blaming victims for the crimes committed against them.

Have you ever watched the show Intervention? I have, and one thing that really stands out for me is that I don't think I've seen one female addict on that show who hasn't been raped at least once. A lot of the men have too, but it seems to be almost universal for women with severe psychological problems. That's why you see, on feminist blogs, 'trigger warnings' for things like sexual violence.

It's because that is a very traumatic topic for a lot of women. Traumatic to the extent that it can trigger serious self-destructive behaviors and profoundly interfere with their ability to function. Women internalize the misogynistic attitudes about women's sexuality, too. That's one of the reasons rape victims overwhelmingly feel guilt and blame themselves for what happened to them; and it's probably the primary factor in sexual violence having such lasting psychological effects.

So for forums that cover topics such as that, I think it's perfectly reasonable for them to disallow comments that blame the victim and ultimately perpetuate rape culture.

I'm sorry if I sounded like I was personally attacking you. I certainly didn't mean it that way, and I did go off into generalizations like the blog trolls, which I don't think you are. I'm just guessing you haven't seen the sorts of things that people say.* There really are a lot of violent, angry people out there who target women for abuse in forums like that.

I am genuinely sorry that what I said upset you. I realize it came off as pretty harsh.

Again, I don't hate you, and I don't think you're a violent hate troll.

* About 150 years ago or so, I made some dumb, not very funny post about how vowels were phallocentric, and how they should all be replaced with Y. Some feminist website emailed and asked me if they could use it, and I said OK. Some years later, I was ego-surfing for my name and came across it. And there, in the comments of this obviously tongue in cheek thing about vowels, was a death threat. Some guy saying he knew where I lived (or was gonna find out--I don't remember now) and was going to rape me to death or something like that. For a not very funny but obvious joke about vowels. That's a slightly off the rails example, but it's illustrative of the general tenor unmoderated forums like that tend to take.