Thread hijacking game - Page 2

Dingfod · #26 10-19-2005, 03:33 PM

Just by riding my own motorcycle, I inadvertantly influenced my nephew to get a motorcycle. I'm have a bit more than a slight twinge of conscience over it. I'm afraid he's going to get hurt and my sister will blame me.

MooseIBe · #27 10-19-2005, 03:38 PM

My sister's supposed to be coming up tonight so I can show her how to use ebay. I don't see why she can't work it out for herself.

Dingfod · #28 10-19-2005, 03:43 PM

My niece's ex-husband used to buy stuff at rummage sales and sell it on eBay. I don't think he made any real money. Now he's in drug rehab and may go to prison for selling drugs out of the fried-chicken restaurant his parent's bought for him to manage.

Sock Puppet · #29 10-19-2005, 04:20 PM

It's no wonder he ended up selling drugs. The food additives at take-out places, fried-chicken places in particular, set off a chemical imbalance in the brain that makes one susceptible to not only addictive behavior, but also shingles, scabies, pseudo-bestial tendencies, adult bedwetting, and inability to talk without making that annoying clicking sound with your tongue. You know, where it gets momentarily stuck to the roof of your mouth and it makes that wet, snapping sound, sort of like a snake trying to peel itself off a frozen telephone pole.

MooseIBe · #30 10-19-2005, 04:38 PM

Okay snakes and telephone polls .. now I am thinking of sex *looks dreamy*

curses · #31 10-19-2005, 05:48 PM

Ya know what, I bet this new prescription that my dentist gave me will make me dreamy like that, the codeine sure didn't do anything. The cats tried to make me feel better last night by walking all over me. They mean well, I guess. I wonder if anyone's tired of hearing about my damn dentist. Probably. Oh well, I'll stop after this.

livius drusus · #32 10-19-2005, 05:51 PM

I like how Diana Ross used to sing "STOP! In the name of love" with the stop all loud and her hand out and everything.

Dingfod · #33 10-19-2005, 05:54 PM

I never tire of hearing about your damn dentist. I have many of my own dental horror stories which I'm not going to share with you. Well, there was this one that reminded me of the East German dentist that drilled on Dustin Hoffman's teeth without anesthetic. That was a good movie. Remember the scene where he sends the neighborhood gang to ransack his apartment in exchange for getting the .45 that his brother gave him? That bad guy cop was hiding around the corner from his room heard them breaking in, showed himself, held up his gun and said "Freeze. Police." In just a second or so he was facing a dozen guns pointed back at him. Cool, huh?

cappuccino · #34 10-19-2005, 06:03 PM

My bum's itching for some reason, it looks fine to me though. No reddness or rashes, except for a worm peeking out, is that normal?

(I made that all up if you can't tell)

Sock Puppet · #35 10-19-2005, 06:21 PM

Fictional worms can be strange. My daughter has a book about a little bird who goes out in search of a worm. But instead of eating it, they become friends and play together. Then the worm goes home with the bird and meets the latter's parents, who feed the worm peas for dinner. He swallows them the way a snake swallows a rodent, despite the fact that earthworms are incapable of such a feat. The book really freaks me out because it shows the bird eating a breakfast that includes eggs. That's just all kinds of wrong.

Shake · #36 10-19-2005, 06:35 PM

Eggs? I like mine scrambled. Not with all that yellow goop running all over the plate.

Dingfod · #37 10-19-2005, 07:27 PM

When I was in Boy Scouts I went on a survival campout. One guy found some eggs in a nest. After dark we got a small fire going, scrambled the eggs and ate them. They were crunchy and it wasn't because of eggshells.

Cool Hand · #38 10-19-2005, 07:35 PM

Scrambled brains. Mmm.... Um, that reminds me. I hate zombie flicks. Jesus, every single one of 'em could have its plot dashed with one simple word: Run! I mean, Christ! How painfully slow are those mindless fleshbags, anyway? My neighbor's slugs could outrun them stoned. Backwards. Oh yeah. Dumb as all getout too. You don't have to be solving polynomial equations to outsmart them. Quick, think! Um, I know. I'll close the door! There. That'll hold them for half an hour while they try to figure out the doorknob business.

I wish somebody would hand me $3 mil to write a zombie screenplay. It would look like this:

Act 1. Dead extras in cheesy makeup and torn clothes wander around and moan.

Act 2. Said extras chase Stars A and B. Very slowly. B trips and gets her leg bitten off.

Act 3. Star C saves B and they get away. Very slowly.

IMPORTANT PRODUCTION NOTE: Absolutely NO RUNNING!!!

Hey, nobody get any ideas about selling this. It's copyrighted.

CH

cappuccino · #39 10-19-2005, 08:27 PM

Haven't you seen the Dawn of the Dead? The zombies in the movie don't plod along, they RUN like crazy and tear people apart. I wonder how much force it takes to pull limbs off somebody.

Poor things, I hate when good looking people end up dead.

Petra · #40 10-19-2005, 09:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Demosthenes

...they RUN like crazy...

Gah! You know what really pisses me off?! :fuming:

People running around pools.

Don't they know how dangerous that can be?!!!

One slip, and they could knock their heads and roll into the pool and drown. OR, they just go running past old ladies and little babies without any concern for anyone's safety AT A BIG DEEP PUBLIC pool, and they just knock 'em in. Without so much as a by-your-leave! And everyone drowns, thank you very much.

That is NOT what I paid my $2 for. I'm there to swim, not be knocked unconscious and left to drown by overly rumbuncious kids who manically race around the periphery of the swimming facilities.

Never mind the DIVE BOMBS!!! :fuming:

Honestly! I've half a mind to complain.

Dingfod · #41 10-19-2005, 10:09 PM

I had no idea how much fun a pool would be until I bought one myself. It took about $80 worth of water to fill it up. It would've taken $86,697 to fill it up with one liter bottles of Evian at $1.69 per bottle. It has also taken about $50 a month worth of electricity to run the filter system pump, or about $42,600 worth of AA batteries. Then there's the cost of chemicals to keep the flotsam and jetsam in check. I wonder if I could get a discount if I bought more than 5 pounds at a time?

Petra · #42 10-19-2005, 10:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Warren

It took about $80 worth of water to fill it up.

Eh? Isn't water free?

Now I know why you hate me. It's for my freedoms. Especially the watery ones.

There was a joke going around about water for awhile. A few people bought it. They were all worried about how dangerous dihydrogen monoxide was. Oh, we laughed and laughed!

But water really isn't so good for you, though, y'know. Did you know fishes fuck in it? Says it all, if you ask me.

pescifish · #43 10-19-2005, 10:55 PM

Dingfod · #44 10-19-2005, 11:06 PM

Most fishes don't fuck, the female lays eggs then the male comes (pun intended) and spews sperm over them. Real exciting stuff, huh? If humans did it that way would men's magazines have pictures of piles of eggs?

Petra · #45 10-19-2005, 11:07 PM

Nuthin'.

But I'll tell you what's wrong with the world today! There's not enough patriotism, that's what. Or discipline. Even with the fishies.

But if you'd like to swing on a star, and carry moonbeams wherever you are, you may grow up to be a fish.

Petra · #46 10-19-2005, 11:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Warren

Most fishes don't fuck, the female lays eggs then the male comes (pun intended) and spews sperm over them. Real exciting stuff, huh? If humans did it that way would men's magazines have pictures of piles of eggs?

Eggs are definitely best unfertilised and free range. They make the most nutritious breakfast. :yup:

curses · #47 10-19-2005, 11:27 PM

Free? I love free. The best pastime in the world is going into small record shops, shows, and clubs and picking up the free cds that local bands leave there. It's a great way to find new music and something to do with your Saturday nights.

Dingfod · #48 10-20-2005, 01:39 PM

This Saturday night I'm going to Tulsa's Oktoberfest and consumer copious quantities of beer with my daughter and her boyfriend. My wife is going to babysit the grandson. Ziggy-zocky, ziggy-zocky, ziggy-zocky, hoy-hoy-hoy!

Godless Dave · #49 10-20-2005, 01:59 PM

I like beer.

A lot.

Dingfod · #50 10-20-2005, 02:04 PM

You know what else I like "a lot"? Fresh hot pretzels that they make at Oktoberfest. Oh, and bratwurst. One of these days I'd like to go to Munich for Oktoberfest just to see what it's like, the beer, the food, the buxom ladies.