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  #3601  
Old 09-04-2023, 04:32 PM
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Default Re: News Miscellany

Quote:
Originally Posted by Stephen Maturin View Post
---------------

In some actual football news, Deion Sanders - the best football player I've ever seen - makes his NCAA Div. 1 coaching debut tomorrow for the Lolorado Buffaloes. Coach Prime took over a legendarily awful program of late (1-11 last season), burned it to the ground, and started all over (some 86 new players).

Tomorrow's opponent is TCU, which played (and got slaughtered) in the national championship game last year. Pundits aren't exactly expecting greatness for the Buffs right out of the gate. The over/under for wins this season is 3.5.
That was a fun game to watch.
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  #3602  
Old 09-05-2023, 04:12 PM
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Default Re: News Miscellany

Boy howdy, as was Prime's post-game presser. Season's got the potential to be a truly wild ride.
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  #3603  
Old 09-05-2023, 04:18 PM
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Default Re: News Miscellany

Quote:
Originally Posted by Stephen Maturin View Post
Boy howdy, as was Prime's post-game presser. Season's got the potential to be a truly wild ride.
I hope so. A Buddy of mine, who now lives over in the Carolina's and can't handle the travel, anymore, just sent me his season tickets for the year.
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  #3604  
Old 09-05-2023, 04:30 PM
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Default Re: News Miscellany

Nice! Last I checked, tickets for the home opener against Nebraska were going for $220 apiece, and that was before the TCU win.
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  #3605  
Old 09-05-2023, 09:02 PM
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Default Re: News Miscellany

:LOL:
The Onion gets it CUPERTINO, CA—Still sporting the fishnet tights, spiked metal collar, and brightly colored pasties he had worn to the festival, late-returning Burning Man attendee Greg Schaffer was forced Tuesday to drive his fantastical wooden ship straight to work.

“So sorry I’m late, my fellow burners and I got stuck on the highway and it took us forever to transcend the physical realm,” said the mud- and dirt-caked Schaffer, who quickly peeled into the corporate parking lot, told his topless female crew to sit tight, and hurriedly sprinted into the office. “Truthfully, I would have been here sooner, but I got stuck in this awesome orgy and then I let some guy in a bird mask ride me around like a horse for two hours in exchange for this awesome turquoise skull. Would anyone be willing to barter for some coffee? I’m still hallucinating from the psychedelic mushrooms I took this morning.”

At press time, Schaffer was relieved after watching the parking lot fill up with other burning man attendees forced to ride winged unicycles, drive a bus shaped like a cat, or fly a giant metal dragon.
Late-Returning Burning Man Attendee Forced To Drive Fantastical Wooden Ship Straight To Work | TheOnion
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  #3606  
Old 09-05-2023, 09:41 PM
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Kamilah Hauptmann Kamilah Hauptmann is offline
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Default Re: News Miscellany

That sounds like a good time, to be honest.
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  #3607  
Old 09-05-2023, 10:45 PM
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Default Re: News Miscellany

It’s pretty funny that drugs have become so connected to the event, as while there’s plenty of people out there on drugs, you gotta bring your own, never go looking on playa but the Booze, omg it’s everywhere and it’s free!

I really don’t understand how people drink so much out there in that sun, but they do, there are tons of ‘bars’ with bar tenders and every other camp seems to have a party night with mixers. You walk up, tell them you’re over 21 (or show ID, some big camps check as the NV cops do stings) hand them your cup, and it’s returned with booze in it. Magic!
:drunk4:

Like anyone cares it’s muddy or raining!
“It’s always sunny when you’re pissed!” - David Mitchell

The media coverage has been a good reminder of how much of the news is manufactured sensationalism, with Gizmodo’s “Burning Man's Fyre Fest Moment Is Coming to a Close“ taking the cake for the most hyperbolic “I’ve done no research but we need clicks!” article I’m not even bothering linking too. Um, I sure hope no one went expecting a catered music festival because Gate will turn people away who don’t have enough water or shelter for a week.
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  #3608  
Old 09-06-2023, 03:16 PM
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Default Re: News Miscellany

And this is how the universe will actually end.
Some dumbass looking for a Shortcut.

China authorities arrest 2 for smashing shortcut through Great Wall with excavator
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  #3609  
Old 09-06-2023, 06:36 PM
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Default Re: News Miscellany

Of course:

Praying Bremerton football coach Joe Kennedy quits after one game

Take the token victory and run away.

Quote:
In a resignation letter obtained by The Seattle Times, he expressed dissatisfaction with the district. “It is apparent that the reinstatement ordered by the Supreme Court will not be fully followed after a series of actions meant to diminish my role and single me out in what I can only believe is retaliation by the school district.”

He gave no indication of such feelings in an interview last week, and it isn’t clear what actions he’s referring to.
There's no retaliation. It's because the grift is more valuable than the job. I'll bet he sues the school for "discrimination" and he needs language like this to help his case.
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  #3610  
Old 09-06-2023, 08:57 PM
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Default Re: News Miscellany

You called it, specious! Predictably, collecting wingnut welfare beats the everluvin' shit out of coaching high school football for a living.
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  #3611  
Old 09-06-2023, 09:25 PM
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Default Re: News Miscellany

This is Classic Florida stuff, right here.

Florida man arrested after trying to cross Atlantic in hamster wheel vessel

"Mr Baluchi has tried three similar voyages before, all of which ended in Coast Guard intervention."

I met a number of people out to do really bold but strange adventures back when living in Florida.

There was a guy who has a rather large, inflatable floating Ball in which he intended to run across the ocean to Africa. He could easily change directions with this ball, so he could adjust his course at will.
We tried to convince him that Africa was a bad idea, as he would be traveling against the current most of the way.
Last we heard, he had washed up near the Bay of Fundy, completely exhausted and dehydrated.
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  #3612  
Old 09-06-2023, 09:56 PM
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Default Re: News Miscellany

Bay of Fundy you say? Floating to Canada seems a growing American tradition:

Hundreds of Americans on rafts accidentally float into Canada

Of course you’re not always sending your best:

American Border Jumper Arrested In BC After A 2.5-Hour Naked 'Float Chase' Down A River - Narcity
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  #3613  
Old 09-08-2023, 05:19 PM
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Default Re: News Miscellany

This is great.
I would like to see ol' Lindsey G in Prison Orange.
Same with Perdue.


https://apnews.com/article/georgia-g...1baae49e2f05eb
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  #3614  
Old 09-09-2023, 03:59 AM
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Default Re: News Miscellany

Dating app Grindr loses nearly half its staff after trying to force a return to office
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  #3615  
Old 09-11-2023, 08:44 AM
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Default Re: News Miscellany

*insert all-staff meeting joke here*
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  #3616  
Old 09-11-2023, 10:18 AM
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Default Re: News Miscellany

The Grindrers (what else would you call Grindr staff?) who have quit should set up Jobr.
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  #3617  
Old 09-12-2023, 05:02 PM
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Default Re: News Miscellany

G20 went fine but there were threats made against the Roblox conference.
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  #3618  
Old 09-14-2023, 06:02 PM
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Default Re: News Miscellany

Sisters Of Perpetual Indulgence Go To Confession, Apologize For Public Masturbator | The Daily Wire
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  #3619  
Old 09-14-2023, 06:08 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sister Mary Magnalaid
“To have anyone associated with us accused of such behavior is an embarrassment and a blight on our name.”
Well there you have it from a guy named Sister Mary Magna laid.
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  #3620  
Old 09-14-2023, 06:29 PM
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I read some of your foolish scree, then just skimmed the rest.
 
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Default Re: News Miscellany

TheDailyWire loves messy bitches, and fabricating drama, wait, is TheDailyWire a drag queen?

This public masterbator wasn’t ever a full member of the sisterhood and wasn’t a member at all at the time of arrest, and I’m not sure we want to be opening up the can of worms of blaming the church for acts of people who tried out but failed to become a priest.

ETA: What horrible horrible things do the Eureka Sisters get up too? Why only the devils own gambling! Join them in the park or at the local lodge for some queer bingo to raise money for local charities. Legend has it the center square is 69 and it’s never free!

Last edited by Ari; 09-14-2023 at 06:40 PM.
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  #3621  
Old 09-14-2023, 06:37 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ari View Post

This public masterbator wasn’t ever a full member of the sisterhood and wasn’t a member at all at the time of arrest,
You make a valid point. Sister Bethe Cockhim was indeed a Novice. Says it right there in the article.
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  #3622  
Old 09-16-2023, 05:52 PM
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I didn't do what I'm about to be accused of!

Say the line, Bart!

Sex assault.

I think you'll find, Mister Brand, that unlike American spectacle courts, British courts are handled outside social media.
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  #3623  
Old 09-17-2023, 04:36 PM
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Default Re: News Miscellany

Quote:
Originally Posted by Miss Shelby View Post
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ari View Post

This public masterbator wasn’t ever a full member of the sisterhood and wasn’t a member at all at the time of arrest,
You make a valid point. Sister Bethe Cockhim was indeed a Novice. Says it right there in the article.

"Had been," not "was," at the time of the incident:
Quote:
“The person arrested was in a probationary process to become a full member at one time but this process ended in October of 2020,” the statement said. “We have a long and complex process for admitting new members to our order and we take every step to be as certain as possible that anyone admitted as a fully-professed member will not bring dishonor to our order.”
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  #3624  
Old 09-18-2023, 02:48 PM
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I was cracking a joke and you guys come to the defense of a group named for their perpetual indulgence. I would say he was definitley perpetually indulging himself and living out their mission. But, hey, knock yourselves out.
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  #3625  
Old 09-18-2023, 03:52 PM
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Default Re: News Miscellany

Outside of the drag makeup and explicit names the sisters are a humanitarian organization that spends a lot of time helping the disabled and elderly, especially those with HIV whom the government hoped would die.

Improperly loaded jokes about the Sisters can sound a bit like laughing at a school lunch for disabled children program.
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