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04-05-2013, 09:30 PM
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Solitary, poor, nasty, brutish, and short
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Re: lisarea's Honky Assed Puttanesca Recipe
I had a p. good idea this morning, inspired, like so many p. good ideas, by a dirty dish I saw.
The idea is of "ranch dressing leather."
You pour a bunch of ranch dressing on some wax paper and leave it out until it dries, then you roll that shit up and carry it around in your pocket as a snack to eat on a bus.
If anybody wants to put this idea on Pinterest or a Christian forum, please throw me a link.
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04-05-2013, 10:24 PM
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Admin of THIEVES and SLUGABEDS
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Re: lisarea's Honky Assed Puttanesca Recipe
You are extremely gross.
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04-05-2013, 10:37 PM
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Solitary, poor, nasty, brutish, and short
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Re: lisarea's Honky Assed Puttanesca Recipe
Well, that was hurtful.
Why don't you cough up some of your recipes for bus snax if you've got such a huge problem with mine? HUH?
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04-05-2013, 10:44 PM
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California Sober
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Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Silicon Valley
Gender: Bender
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Re: lisarea's Honky Assed Puttanesca Recipe
Quote:
Originally Posted by livius drusus
You are extremely gross.
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But it's low carb!
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04-06-2013, 01:28 AM
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Dogehlaugher -Scrutari
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Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Northwest
Gender: Female
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Re: lisarea's Honky Assed Puttanesca Recipe
BBQ sauce leather...
__________________
Ishmaeline of Domesticity drinker of smurf tears
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05-03-2013, 02:36 AM
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Solitary, poor, nasty, brutish, and short
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Re: lisarea's Honky Assed Puttanesca Recipe
Oh hey, I just found out we get some kind of a farm channel or something? It's like about farmers I guess, plus they have commercials for guns and probably that Farmer's Only mating site. It is probably accidental, or maybe bled over from Kansas or something, because it is totally inappropriate.
But I watched it for like ten minutes and they had a recipe for mango salsa that consisted of mangos, corn, and red bell peppers, so I stopped watching and came back to tell you.
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05-03-2013, 02:41 AM
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California Sober
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Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Silicon Valley
Gender: Bender
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Re: lisarea's Honky Assed Puttanesca Recipe
We have that Farmer's Only mating site, too. Oh how it makes me lol every time.
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04-02-2014, 08:51 PM
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Solitary, poor, nasty, brutish, and short
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Re: lisarea's Honky Assed Puttanesca Recipe
Quote:
Originally Posted by livius drusus
a non-honkey Puttanesca
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04-03-2014, 03:41 AM
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Solitary, poor, nasty, brutish, and short
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Re: lisarea's Honky Assed Puttanesca Recipe
Dear Mr. drusus,
Maybe I wasn't clear enough. I want your puttanesca recipe.
Love,
Mr. Pea.
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04-03-2014, 04:39 AM
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Admin of THIEVES and SLUGABEDS
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Re: lisarea's Honky Assed Puttanesca Recipe
Oh. Yeah, I didn't get that at all.
livius' Non-Honky Assed Puttanesca
1 pound San Marzano tomatoes, chopped
10 black olives (ideally brine-cured Gaetas, but failing that any brine-cured black will do. My mom uses Kalamatas all the time, but they have too sour an undertone for my tastes.)
2 teaspoons capers, rinsed and coarsely chopped
10 anchovy fillets, minced. (I use a garlic press because it breaks them up perfectly and helps filter out some of those little hairy bones which bug me)
1 peperoncino (I keep it whole and remove it because I'm a heat wuss, but if you're not just chop it up)
3 garlic cloves, chopped
some olive oil
Pit the olives and cut them in half. Put a couple of turns of oil in a pan on medium-low. Once it's shimmering, throw in the garlic and peperoncino and saute for 30 seconds until fragrant. Add the anchovies and stir until thoroughly distributed. Add the capers and stir. Add the tomatoes and stir.
Cook on a low simmer for 20 minutes until it thickens. Add the olives and taste. Add salt if necessary, which in my experience it never is on account of the capers and the anchovies.
This makes enough for a pound of spaghetti.
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04-03-2014, 07:46 PM
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Solitary, poor, nasty, brutish, and short
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Re: lisarea's Honky Assed Puttanesca Recipe
That looks really really good, and both of my regular grocery stores have olive bars, so I can probably get that kind.
Do you use those fancy salt-cured anchovies? I've been thinking about whether I should get a bucket of those, or just keep using the tinned ones packed in oil. I do use a lot of anchovies, so it might be worth upgrading.
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04-03-2014, 07:58 PM
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Admin of THIEVES and SLUGABEDS
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Re: lisarea's Honky Assed Puttanesca Recipe
I use the tinned ones in oil (thanks again, Costco) these days, but when we lived in Italy we used the salt-cured ones. They have to be very thoroughly rinsed before use, needless to say, but otherwise the recipe remains the same, quantities and mincing and all that.
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04-23-2014, 09:48 AM
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Solipsist
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Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Kolmannessa kerroksessa
Gender: Male
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Re: lisarea's Honky Assed Puttanesca Recipe
Quote:
Originally Posted by livius drusus
10 anchovy fillets, minced. (I use a garlic press because it breaks them up perfectly and helps filter out some of those little hairy bones which bug me)
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* JoeP adds another item to the list
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04-23-2014, 08:24 PM
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A fellow sophisticate
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Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Cowtown, Kansas
Gender: Male
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Re: lisarea's Honky Assed Puttanesca Recipe
...a list of things to have available to throw at politicians and bad actors.
__________________
Sleep - the most beautiful experience in life - except drink.--W.C. Fields
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04-23-2014, 08:27 PM
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Solipsist
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Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Kolmannessa kerroksessa
Gender: Male
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Re: lisarea's Honky Assed Puttanesca Recipe
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dingfod
...a list of things to have available to throw at politicians and bad actors.
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Which of those are you saying livius is?
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04-27-2014, 06:54 PM
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Solitary, poor, nasty, brutish, and short
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Re: lisarea's Honky Assed Puttanesca Recipe
I'm gonna PS first because I forgot to say I made that puttanesca almost exactly like you said. I forgot the kind of olives you said when I was at the store, so I just did Kalamatas like regular. And it was real good, so thank you for your livius drusus puttanesca! I just didn't want you to think this was going to be like with the turnips.
But back to the real topic of this thrad:
Someone Ate This
I feel like maybe you don't even need the recipes for most of these because you can just recreate them visually. (BTW, there are a couple or few things on there that I think might be green chili, which always looks unfortunate even though it's awesome. Most of it, though, is just inexcusable.)
I had no idea that hot dog salads were such a thing.
And no, I don't feel bad about laughing at people's terrible food, because I have decided that most of them are probably MRAs or something.
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04-27-2014, 07:53 PM
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A Very Gentle Bort
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Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Bortlandia
Gender: Male
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Re: lisarea's Honky Assed Puttanesca Recipe
oh god. i can't.
I'll admit, though, some things (many more than I care to admit) have come out p terrible looking and about as appetizing as some of those things. I eat my mistakes just so I really learn the lesson to a) try and do better or b) never do that again.
__________________
\V/_ I COVLD TEACh YOV BVT I MVST LEVY A FEE
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04-27-2014, 08:39 PM
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Solitary, poor, nasty, brutish, and short
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Re: lisarea's Honky Assed Puttanesca Recipe
I screw things up all the time, too. And I also make things that look p. gross but aren't. Green chili and curries are almost always pretty nasty looking, even when they are delicious.
But if I put pictures of those things on the internet, I'm doing it either for purposes of people making fun of them, or at least with the understanding and acceptance that it's going to happen.
And if you're not going to have your Oppenheimer moment of your own volition, I am OK with doing it for you. My God, what have you done?
I mean, if you make these tacos and you have the Dunning Kruger effect so bad you think the world needs to know about it, you need to hear what the world says about that. It's the only way you might ever learn anything.
PS the official food of Men Going Their Own Way.
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04-27-2014, 10:05 PM
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Admin of THIEVES and SLUGABEDS
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Re: lisarea's Honky Assed Puttanesca Recipe
Oh christ so much vomit and lumpiness. I feel ill.
eta jesus christ the tacos... I seriously need a breath of fresh air.
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04-27-2014, 10:09 PM
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A Very Gentle Bort
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Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Bortlandia
Gender: Male
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Re: lisarea's Honky Assed Puttanesca Recipe
The blessing you should take away from that site is that most of the stuff there is unrecognizable.
__________________
\V/_ I COVLD TEACh YOV BVT I MVST LEVY A FEE
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04-27-2014, 10:13 PM
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Solitary, poor, nasty, brutish, and short
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Re: lisarea's Honky Assed Puttanesca Recipe
Oh, god, I meant to warn you that a couple of those things gave me trypophobia even though I didn't have it before. I was just like, all of the sudden, it made sense.
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04-28-2014, 08:19 PM
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A Very Gentle Bort
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Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Bortlandia
Gender: Male
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Re: lisarea's Honky Assed Puttanesca Recipe
__________________
\V/_ I COVLD TEACh YOV BVT I MVST LEVY A FEE
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04-29-2014, 08:29 PM
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Bizarre unknowable space alien
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Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Flint, MI
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Re: lisarea's Honky Assed Puttanesca Recipe
Wow. My sister talks about having dump cakes as a kid all the time. I thought it was just something our family did.
__________________
"freedom to differ is not limited to things that do not matter much. That would be a mere shadow of freedom. The test of its substance is the right to differ as to things that touch the heart of the existing order."
- Justice Robert Jackson, West Virginia State Board of Ed. v. Barnette
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04-30-2014, 01:54 AM
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Solitary, poor, nasty, brutish, and short
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Re: lisarea's Honky Assed Puttanesca Recipe
YES TO THIS:
A Paean To Shitty Food Blogs | MUNCHIES
And FTW for not telling me about Masaokis before. I only watched the Obamalette one so far, but I can already tell it's great.
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04-30-2014, 11:22 PM
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Projecting my phallogos with long, hard diction
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Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Dee Cee
Gender: Male
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Re: lisarea's Honky Assed Puttanesca Recipe
Enjoy your whore noodles.
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