Rudy Giuliani Appreciation Thread

[BrotherMan]

I couldn't make it past the first sentence.

Rudy Giuliani plans to defend himself in an upcoming legal ethics case — and he'll have help from a number of 2020 election deniers.

I mean. Even, and maybe especially, if you are a lolyer, you shouldn't not ever never represent yourself in a case. I'm not even an in real irl life lolyer. I just watched too much Lol and Order in my young and impressionable yoot.

[Sock Puppet]

That actually might be a good strategy. He can claim incompetent counsel in his appeal.

[Stephen Maturin]

Originally Posted by BrotherMan

Even, and maybe especially, if you are a lolyer, you shouldn't not ever never represent yourself in a case.

Rudy is a lifelong idiot and total hack, but even he isn't quite THAT fuck-all stupid. The actual witness list comes from the lolyers representing him in that proceeding.

[Kamilah Hauptmann]

I see the "verification" system is going juuuuuuuuuuuust great. pic.twitter.com/Ck8N5WTReb

— Mike Masnick (@mmasnick) November 9, 2022

[mickthinks]

Wrong thread, surely?

[Stephen Maturin]

Grab dat popcorn, bitches, cuz Dunphy v. Giuliani is here:

2. When Giuliani hired Ms. Dunphy in January 2019, he was at the height of his influence, serving as the personal lawyer for then-President Donald Trump. He had fashioned himself publicly as a major player in American politics, a successful businessman, and an important powerbroker who wielded enormous control over others.

3. Giuliani worked aggressively to hire Ms. Dunphy, offering her what seemed like a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to work as his Director of Business Development with a salary of $1 million per year plus expenses. As an added inducement, Giuliani also offered to provide pro bono legal representation to Ms. Dunphy in connection with an ongoing dispute arising from an abusive ex-partner. To Ms. Dunphy, the chance to work for an influential politician once dubbed “America’s Mayor,” combined with the prospect of free legal representation by a former United States Attorney for the Southern District of New York, was a rare opportunity that was simply too good to pass up.

4. But Giuliani’s offer came with a significant catch: Giuliani was in the midst of an acrimonious divorce, and he told Ms. Dunphy that her pay would have to be deferred and her employment kept “secret” until the divorce proceedings finished. He claimed that his “crazy” ex-wife and her lawyers were watching his cashflow, and that his ex-wife would “attack” and “retaliate” against any female employee that Giuliani hired. Giuliani promised Ms. Dunphy that his divorce would be resolved “any day now,” and therefore the deferral of her pay and the need to keep her employment secret would soon end. Ms. Dunphy reluctantly agreed to defer her pay and not to publicize her employment because she viewed the job, the salary, and the free legal
representation as being worth the wait.

5. Unfortunately, Giuliani’s seemingly generous offers were a sham motivated by his secret desire to pursue a sexual relationship with Ms. Dunphy—in total disregard for the restraints that should have protected her as his employee and client. As Giuliani later admitted in a recorded statement, he “wanted [Ms. Dunphy] from the day [he] interviewed [her].”

6. Giuliani began abusing Ms. Dunphy almost immediately after she started working for the Defendants. He made clear that satisfying his sexual demands—which came virtually anytime, anywhere—was an absolute requirement of her employment and of his legal representation. Giuliani began requiring Ms. Dunphy to work at his home and out of hotel rooms, so that she would be at his beck and call. He drank morning, noon, and night, and was frequently intoxicated, and therefore his behavior was always unpredictable.

7. Giuliani also took Viagra constantly. While working with Ms. Dunphy, Giuliani would look to Ms. Dunphy, point to his erect penis, and tell her that he could not do any work until “you take care of this.” Thus, Ms. Dunphy worked under the constant threat that Giuliani might demand sex from her at any moment. Even when the Covid-19 pandemic halted Giuliani’s ability to physically assault her, he demanded that she disrobe during their work-related videoconferences.

8. Giuliani also abused his position as Ms. Dunphy’s lawyer to pressure her into sex. In one instance, for example, Giuliani promised Ms. Dunphy that he would give her $300,000 if she would forgo her legal rights in connection with her pending case and “fuck me like crazy.” This statement was recorded.

9. As Ms. Dunphy continued her work for Giuliani and the Giuliani Companies, the work environment became increasingly hostile. In addition to his sexual demands, Giuliani went on alcohol-drenched rants that included sexist, racist, and antisemitic remarks, which made the work environment unbearable. Many of these comments were recorded.

Paragraph 225 includes some of ol' Rudy's statements, and - say it with me, people - "many of which were recorded."

Predictably, and lulzily, Roodles is going pro se.

[Stephen Maturin]

I gotta stop reading this shit for a minute.

132. [Roodles] also asked Ms. Dunphy if she knew anyone in need of a pardon, telling her that he was selling pardons for $2 million, which he and President Trump would split. He told Ms. Dunphy that she could refer individuals seeking pardons to him, so long as they did not go through “the normal channels” of the Office of the Pardon Attorney, because correspondence going to that office would be subject to disclosure under the Freedom of Information Act.

[BrotherMan]

That is incredible. All of my flabbers for all of time have been permanently gasted.

[Ensign Steve]

Well, not that shocked.

[Stephen Maturin]

Not exactly what you'd call a full-throated defense:

Bret Baier: This is someone who worked for Rudy Giuliani, who alleges not only sexual assault and harassment, but that she has evidence that he tried to sell pardons for $2 million apiece, which he and President Trump would split. Do you think that that’s possible?

Former Attorney General Bill Barr: Uh, I’m skeptical about that. I don’t think Rudy Giuliani would do that. I hope he wouldn’t, but I don’t know.

[specious_reasons]

And there’s no you know, I have no antipathy toward him [Trump] at all.

Bill Barr, tireless defender of democracy there.

[maddog]

Wow, this thread has come a long way from its origins.

[Kamilah Hauptmann]

Originally Posted by SR71

Twitter Deletes Rudy After Rudy Touts Magic Mushrooms As Covid Cure

Just seeing if I can sneak this by the mods.

This seems so quaint now.

[slimshady2357]

Originally Posted by maddog

Wow, this thread has come a long way from its origins.

I had forgotten how it started and had to go back and look. Once again I had a nice

Thanks maddog

[vremya]

Rudy's been really quiet, it's about time for him to resurface.

[Kamilah Hauptmann]

Originally Posted by vremya

Rudy's been really quiet, it's about time for him to resurface.

K

Rudy Giuliani Went By Fake Name 'Helen' While Building Fake Claims About Fake Ballots - Above the Law

Giuliani Ordered to Pay Georgia Election Workers' Attorney Fees

[Stephen Maturin]

A committee of the Board of Professional Responsibility in the District of Columbia has recommended disbarment for Roodles. A link to the 38-page report and recommendation appears in the article. The final decision on disbarment belongs to the District of Columbia Court of Appeals (not to be confused with the United States Court of Appeals for the District of Columbia).

This makes me smile. 9iu11iani has been a total hack and grandstanding piece of shit his entire career. It's taken far too long, but maybe, just maybe, the steamroller of justice is about to give him a little taste of what he's so long deserved.

[Kamilah Hauptmann]

He enjoyed the fuck around century fucking around, gets totally landscaped in the find out century.

[JoeP]

Originally Posted by Kamilah Hauptmann

He enjoyed the fuck around century fucking around, gets totally four seasons landscaped in the find out century.

[Kamilah Hauptmann]

Originally Posted by JoeP

That's the Joke - YouTube

[Stephen Maturin]

Today I was reminded of Jimmy Breslin's epic description of Roodles as an assistant U.S. attorney: "He wore an old man's three piece suit and shook like a broken clothes dryer every time a Black man came into the office to deliver coffee."

Two Georgia election workers have sued 9iu11iani for defamation after he told the world that the workers tampered with ballots in 2020. The shitstorm of death threats and harassment the plaintiffs got from trumpanzees as a result of shitboy's statements was apparently quite the thing.

Today ol' Rudy told the court that he won't bother contesting the actual falsity of his statements, but he still has no liability cuz his bullshit was constitutionally protected.

The world will be a measurably better place when Rudy dies - hopefully in excruciating pain - but I'll never live to see it. He and Kissinger will be sending one another birthday cards 30 years from now.

[LarsMac]

"What is dead will never die."

[Ari]

Everytime someone posts to this thread I think “Maybe he’s dead.” but it’s never true. I don’t understand how healthy seeming people can die, yet he continues to live.

[Stephen Maturin]

Lots of quotes from those Dunphy recordings that need to be stitched into commemorative MyPillows, if such things still exist:

“Jewish men have small cocks because they can’t use them after they get married,” Giuliani said, according to the transcript. “Whereas the Italian use them all their lives so they get bigger.”

“Matt Damon is a fag,” Giuliani replies. “Matt Damon is also 5’2″, eyes are blue. Coochi-coochie-coochie-coo.”

“Come here, big tits. Your tits belong to me. Give them to me [indiscernable]. I want to claim my tits. I want to claim my tits. I want to claim my tits. These are my tits.”

Totally not an alcoholic sex pest.

[Ari]

Excuse me while I mix up some Bleach and Hydrocloric acid to shower in.