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  #576  
Old 08-28-2020, 03:31 PM
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Default Re: Somebody Tell A Joke

A priest and a rabbi were sitting in adjacent seats on an airplane. After a while the priest turned to the rabbi and asked,
"Is it still a requirement of your faith that you not eat pork?
The rabbi responded, "Yes, that is still one of our laws
The priest then asked, "Have you ever eaten pork?"
"Yes, on one occasion I did succumb to temptation and ate a bacon sandwich."
The priest nodded in understanding and went on with his reading.
A while later the rabbi spoke up and asked, "Father, is it still a requirement of your church that you remain celibate?"
The priest replied, "Yes, that is still very much a part of our faith."
The rabbi then asked him, "Father, have you ever fallen to the temptations of the flesh?"
The priest replied, "Yes, Rabbi, on one occasion I was weak and broke the pledge of my faith."
The rabbi nodded understandingly and remained silent for several minutes.
Finally the rabbi quietly observed, "Beats the shit out of a bacon sandwich doesn't it?
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  #577  
Old 08-29-2020, 05:40 AM
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Default Re: Somebody Tell A Joke

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ymir's blood View Post
Wait, what happened to the German Jokes thrad?


What’s the difference between a stork? – Both legs are the same length, especially the left one.

Two men are walking through the desert. Says one: “Now let me walk in the middle.”

What is the difference between a Saxon and a foreigner? You’ll understand the foreigner when he speaks German.
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  #578  
Old 11-13-2020, 09:58 PM
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Default Re: Somebody Tell A Joke

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  #579  
Old 11-14-2020, 08:35 AM
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Default Re: Somebody Tell A Joke

It could be anything. It's the CORAL that's making me laugh the hardest.
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  #580  
Old 11-14-2020, 09:27 PM
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Default Re: Somebody Tell A Joke

The empty frames before he asks about the glue. :blank: I was like, Oh Coral, you know you don't have to ask. But of course he does.
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  #581  
Old 11-23-2020, 10:09 PM
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Default Re: Somebody Tell A Joke

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  #582  
Old 11-24-2020, 08:09 AM
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:frysees:
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  #583  
Old 11-24-2020, 09:27 AM
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Default Re: Somebody Tell A Joke

:scratch:

nope ... too remote for me ...
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  #584  
Old 11-24-2020, 05:21 PM
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Default Re: Somebody Tell A Joke

:frysees: (mirrored)
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  #585  
Old 01-22-2021, 08:20 PM
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Default Re: Somebody Tell A Joke

Old dude approaches the White House and says to the U.S. Marine standing guard, "I'd like to go in and meet with President Trump."

Marine says, "Sir, Mr. Trump is no longer President and no longer lives here." The old man says, "Okay" and walks off.

The next day, the same old dude approached the same Marine standing guard at the White House and said, "I'd like to go in and meet with President Trump."

The Marine repeated, "Sir, as I said yesterday, Mr. Trump is no longer President and no longer resides here." The old man said thanks and walked away.

The third day, the same old dude approached the very same Marine and again said, "I'd like to go in and meet with President Trump."

The Marine said, "Sir, this is the third day in a row you've been here asking to speak to Trump. I've told you each time that he's no longer the President and no longer resides here. Don't you get it?"

Old dude says, "Oh yeah, I get it. I just like hearing it."

The Marine snapped to attention and said, “See you tomorrow, Sir."
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  #586  
Old 02-17-2021, 01:58 PM
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Default Re: Somebody Tell A Joke

A Catholic priest, a Methodist minister, a Baptist pastor and a Rabbit walk into the blood donation centre. The nurse asks them for their blood groups.


The Rabbit says “I think I'm a Type O”.

:bundance::bundance::nurse::bundance::bundance:
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  #587  
Old 04-09-2021, 11:09 PM
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Default Re: Somebody Tell A Joke

I went to the doctor for a check-up.

"You need to stop masturbating", he said.

"Why?"

"Because I need you to keep still while I examine you."
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