Scathing review of Guy Fieri's restaurant in NYC

[Hermit]

Originally Posted by lisarea

That fish not being meat thing is Catholic. You guys are being Catholics. Also, skrimps are animals!

Yes, very catholic. We loved our mother's cooking. Except on Fridays. Carp and potatoes for lunch ev-er-y time.

As for skrimp, I had to look that up. Google asked if I meant shrimp. The Urban Dictionary said it was ebonic for shrimp. So I looked up ebonic. There it is defined as "a poor excuse for a failure to grasp the basics of English." Wrong, wrong, wrong! Skrimp may be an affectation by trendies pretending they're hip with hoodspeak, but shrimp is not English either. It's American, people. In English the proper word is prawn*.

*To my lasting chagrin Paul Hogan, when he was flavour of the month, was contracted by the Australian Tourism Commission to star in an ad and toward the end of it exhorts Americans to visit us one day and said: "I'll slip an extra shrimp on the barbie for you." I suppose he was just pandering to the American inability to comprehend English even while he slathered his spiel with expressions of the Australian vernacular.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=95OovSKEtfs

[Dingfod]

We had a neighbor friend once accuse us of being vegetarian because all she ever saw my wife fix was chicken dishes.

Me: Vegetarians eat chicken? If they do, they're lying to themselves about being vegetarian.

[vremya]

My friend is a vegetarian who eats the occasional fish. She's much easier to go out to dinner with than my vegan friends.

Getting back to "protein" vs. "meat" - it sounds so pretentious to say "Does that salad come with a protein on it?" instead of "does that salad come with chicken on it?"

[livius drusus]

Originally Posted by lisarea

That fish not being meat thing is Catholic. You guys are being Catholics.

It's not just a Catholic thing. When someone says they're a "meat and potatoes kind of guy," that means land animals, not fish and chips. Meatloaf is beef, pork and veal. If it were made out of salmon, cod and smoked herring, it would be a fishloaf.

Also, skrimps are animals!

Of course they are. I said they're water animals!

[Dingfod]

No... it's mostly a Catholic thing.

[Janet]

Muskrats are also fish according to Catholics, though I don't know if anyone outside the downriver suburbs of Detroit takes advantage of it.

[Ensign Steve]

Yeah okay I'm late to the party but I, too, blame the Pope for people saying seafood isn't meat.

Also my mom refers to beans as the protein when she's making vegetarian food, which is about half the time. She doesn't eat tofu.

[ChuckF]

I concur, liv's gone all Lefebvre itt.

[livius drusus]

NONE OF YOU CAN DENY THE TRUTH OF THE MEATLOAF. MEAT. LOAF.

[Ensign Steve]

NO U!

[Ensign Steve]

Originally Posted by ChuckF

Lefebvre

Okay, so broke down and googled this.

show spoiler

[BrotherMan]

[beyelzu]

Originally Posted by Ari

I've ran into a few vegetarians and non-vegetarians that seem to think 'meat' means land animal and that fish are totally vegetarian friendly. Some Asian restaurants will list items with fish broth or fish paste as vegetarian.
"Yes of course I'm a vegetarian, I can't stand those disgusting meat eaters" *plucks out fish eyes to better eat its tasty tasty face*

Although I shudder to think what a Guy Fieri vegetarian menu would look like.

For a year, the only meat I ate was fish and seafood. It was easier to say I was a vegetarian instead of I don't eat war blooded animals (which is where I actually drew the line.)

[beyelzu]

Originally Posted by livius drusus

NONE OF YOU CAN DENY THE TRUTH OF THE MEATLOAF. MEAT. LOAF.

So if I understand, it seems you have proven that ketchup is meat?

[ChuckF]

Originally Posted by Ensign Steve

Okay, so broke down and googled this.

...

[ceptimus]

Originally Posted by lisarea

One time when I was a vegetarian, somebody was trying to convince me to eat some skrimps because they weren't meat, and I was like how you think that it's a gentle introductory vegetarian meat

Royle Family - Could she have some wafer thin...

[BrotherMan]

Guy Fiere Destroyed Food Network?

Look. I get it. I understand why people have varying degrees of dislike for Guy Fieri. But he did not in any way shape or form single handedly destroy Food Network. I can't even say with any certainty that it was him or any of his shows that brought in the "reality television" thing to Food Network. I mean, c'mon. Watching cooks make something even in a studio kitchen is a pretty real experience.

[Stephen Maturin]

After all these years I should know better than to scroll down and venture into the goddamn comments.

But no, I don't.

In this case, we learned from the comments that the opinions expressed in the linked article are symptomatic of the liberal elitism that's destroying America. At the same time we learn that "[f]at, lazy, worthless Americans are clinging to Fieri as a means of somehow justifying their diseases that they have given themselves." Yes, cupcake, you're right: I consider my heart disease fully "justified" (whatever the fuck that means) because of that time I saw green chili cheeseburgers on Triple D.

We also learn that:

Fieri will be the next flash in a pan. A decade or two from now, nobody will know his name. (Emphasis added.)

I've never actually seen anyone crying all the way to the bank, but ol' Guy might do exactly that if he ever reads that comment.

[curses]

Ok you guys. Hold on to your petticoats or Members Only jackets or whatever.
So get this-I was in Wally World earlier to get some stuffs for motorcycle cleanin'. Got my stuffs and wandered towards the register when what to my wondering eye doth appear?

show spoiler

FUCKING GUY FIERI FAKE TATTOO SHITTY COOKWARE. That's what.
I have cataloged some of the atrocities for your perusal.



ooh, look! cheap plastic spatula with his name on it! I'm sure THAT won't wash off. Also lol at those chip clips.

Wider shot to show the cutting board.



Your own obnoxious cutlery set to cut the life out of you for buying this branded crap. Made in China.


but the pièce de résistance was this.

show spoiler

The actual fuck...that's a 8" pan.

[vremya]

[BrotherMan]

[Anastasia Beaverhausen]

Not showing up for me. I see the image resize bar, but no image.

[Ensign Steve]

Damnit we just went to bed bath and beyond for a new skillet today. How did we not see these?!

[Ari]

Fieri winery rejected by Sonoma.
"Fieri has been trying for more than two years to gain approval for his project, called Hunt-Ryd Winery after his two sons, Hunter and Ryder."

Fieri wasn't at the rejection meeting as he was literally playing with little Guy Fieri,
"my #grocerygames krew got me good with a mini version of me and a mariachi band for my birthday."

Those who are sad about this can always drown their sorrows with a Kraft Kocktail,
Such as the OMG WTF DID YOU DO! 21st puke day Bloody Marry,

Before having "The Cool Jerk" right at your table.

[Janet]

Someone on the AV Club comments said he couldn't remember his name and googled "human cheese fries" and it worked. Didn't work for me, though.