Final disposition

[ChuckF]

CatF and JoeP prompted me to realize that I don’t think we’ve had a good thread/poll about body/carcass disposition preferences. I am curious.

Personally, my estate plan provides for cremation unless (a) I have found some research university that is willing to haul away my useless corpse for free or (b) there is something easier and cheaper available at the time. I do not really care (because I will be dead) but I will leave an instruction just to avoid causing any needless inconvenience or expense around what to do with me after I am dead. I would also be fine just being deposited in a sufficiently deep hole, but I sure hate to make somebody do all that digging. “Donating a body to science” is a nice idea, to think that somebody is getting some utility out of it, but it’s more logistically difficult than one would think. They need to be timely alerted to death so they can begin all the necessary procedures and usually requires dying in a hospital in or near the recipient facility. My only strong preference is that I don’t want to be embalmed. Gross.

There’s quite a bit of woo out there, which I guess is fine. The people who turn a tiny amount of carbon into an artificial diamond (Lifegem or something like that) seem scammy. The people who give you a tree to plant and imply that inorganic cremains will somehow nourish it are pretty borderline, but hey, a tree gets planted, so I guess that’s fine. Not sure where to start with the cryogenics folks. Spend money however you want I guess, but the possibility of ever being revived is vanishingly slim, and even if it worked, it seems not unlikely that one would be revived to some sort of dystopian hellscape. I think that’s why a lot of the transhumanists focus on brain uploads and the like now.

We have accumulated a reasonable collection of cremated remains of various pets and one human. We are currently looking in to Parting Stone, which solidifies cremated remains into a ceramic-like stone using a clay binder. It’s a little gimmicky but I think it’s pretty neat because it is something tactile that you can actually handle easily, unlike cremated remains. It’s also a simple way to share out cremated remains among people, or spread them in a few places, like if you want to just leave a rock on the beach instead of getting a boat to scatter ashes, etc. There is something satisfying about the solidity of it. We’ll see. A dog that died about a decade ago has been on the shelf since then, so he is going to test it out for us. He should be coming home in a few weeks. If they do a good job, they may get more business from us.

So for purposes of the poll: setting aside any question of what happens to your consciousness, what do you want to happen to your physical body when you die? To attempt to avoid making this thread evidence in an adversarial proceeding the poll is anonymous, but keep in mind the potential evidentiary quality of your reply before responding. It could help your case unless you change your mind.

And friendly reminder to make and update an estate plan!

[lisarea]

After they harvest any useful organs, if I manage not to destroy them all, I want to be cremated pretty much immediately. I don't like dead bodies and don't want to be one for any longer than absolutely necessary.

I don't like doctors much, either, and I don't want some asshole medical student putting my head in someone's locker as a prank. Or giving it to the military to blow up or to make creepy Frankensteined corpses. Or even worse, selling it for profit.

[ChuckF]

I think I would be ok with the prank as long as it was funny.

[fragment]

Are any pranks funny?

I like the idea of sky or sea burials. Those are probably impractical so cremation is most likely on the cards.

[Ari]

Originally Posted by lisarea

or to make creepy Frankensteined corpses.

This would be my fantasy option, but not by some amateurs. More like a human scale version of this.



Baring that, cremation or whatever’s cheapest. I believe I even have a spot in a small cemetery from back when buying group plots and then gifting them to family was all the rage, and now there’s multiple generations there. Amusingly my grandma is buried there in a cremation urn/box because she couldn’t stand the thought of worms and bugs crawling through out her body. My grandpa is buried there whole as he couldn’t stand the thought of fire burning through his body.

[lisarea]

Originally Posted by fragment

Are any pranks funny?

My youngest brother sewed a tiny pair of pants out of the leg of his old sweatpants. They were gray, hand sewn with red embroidery thread, maybe a foot tall from waist to hem. One leg was really skinny and the other relatively wide, and there was a single pocket spanning the whole butt.

And he covertly put them in then maybe 7 year old TLM's laundry hamper for me to find later.

[JoeP]

Originally Posted by ChuckF

To attempt to avoid making this thread evidence in an adversarial proceeding the poll is anonymous, but keep in mind the potential evidentiary quality of your reply before responding. It could help your case unless you change your mind.

And friendly reminder to make and update an estate plan!

+1 for the lolyerspeak.

I, JoeP, being of unsound mind ...

[JoeP]

Originally Posted by ChuckF

“Donating a body to science” is a nice idea, to think that somebody is getting some utility out of it, but it’s more logistically difficult than one would think. They need to be timely alerted to death so they can begin all the necessary procedures and usually requires dying in a hospital in or near the recipient facility.

You say that, but:
The pandemic has caused a shortage of cadavers | The Economist
and

Surgical training is suffering as a result

I immediately thought of a business idea ... but have not checked it with a lawyer.

Though supply is constrained, demand for corpses has been growing as the numbers training to be doctors have increased. In 2005, medical schools bought 600 cadavers; in 2017, 1,300. Given both rising demand and supply constraints, it is perhaps surprising that arms and legs do not cost an arm and a leg. Nor do heads: the going rate for one in America is around $500; a foot is $350 (prices are similar in Britain).

Covid-19 has made things trickier still. Body donation in Britain paused, since no one was certain whether bodies would be infectious.

And they are fussy:

Bodies are rejected for a large number of reasons, including being too thin (not enough to dissect); too fat (anatomy tables have weight limits); too tall (cadavers come inconveniently off the ends of those tables) and for having a large unhealed wound (the embalming fluid pours out).

[Stephen Maturin]

I was gonna protest the absence of a "Grind that shit up and feed it to the hogs" option, but realized it's subsumed in the Poland thing.

[lisarea]

Originally Posted by Stephen Maturin

I was gonna protest the absence of a "Grind that shit up and feed it to the hogs" option, but realized it's subsumed in the Poland thing.

Welp, you'd better outlive me, then, because I'm thinking freeze drying. According to my research so far, it's much more true to life than traditional taxidermy. Or kielbasa for that matter.

[LarsMac]

I don't really care, as long as I don't have to pay for it.

[Qingdai]

Oregon has water cremation, whre you're turned into goo and flushed. Plus you can give your decendents those crazy expensive gold crowns you got a while back.


But yea that or cremation, or the mushroom suit compost idea. I'm ok will all of that stuff. I don't plan dying with many of my organs parts havestable, but who knows? I wouldn't mind being thrown out of a plane so that some new safety things are invented. Gord, I hate planes

[Pyrrho]

I'd prefer what is called a "green burial" in which what's left is put into a gunny sack and planted next to a shrubbery. I kind of like the idea of my constituent parts feeding worms and beetles and the like, instead of taking up space in a box somewhere awaiting geology.

[ChuckF]

I am totally down for green burial if it's a convenient option in the area. (Apparently some jurisdictions are weird about it - I understand the reasoning but it should be an option in more cemeteries.) I would have some reservations if I died subsequent recent course of cytotoxic chemo or anything that could be environmentally problematic. If earth-bound I would definitely prefer a cloth bag or unfinished wood box over anything more durable or a vault.

[JoeP]

Originally Posted by ChuckF

or a vault.

Can I change my vote? I want a massive pyramid.

[Oxymaroon]

Haven't humans made enough fuss over their own discarded carapaces yet? I mean, it went over all right when there were only a few hundred thousand in a major nation and only two dozen of those were 'important' enough to bury with ceremony.
Doing it on an industrial scale is just grotesque.
If you can't figure a clean, efficient way to recycle corpses, let Nature do it the traditional way.

[Limoncello]

The Mor-man and I are at lager heads about our final dispositions.

The Mor-man insists he must be buried and also insists I need my body whole for the afterlife. He objects to my desire to be cremated. Strongly objects.

On the bright side, he works at a Funeral Centre, and we get discounts.

[JoeP]

See if you can get a job at a crematorium and challenge him on the discounts.

[ChuckF]

Originally Posted by Limoncello

The Mor-man and I are at lager heads about our final dispositions.

The Mor-man insists he must be buried and also insists I need my body whole for the afterlife. He objects to my desire to be cremated. Strongly objects.

On the bright side, he works at a Funeral Centre, and we get discounts.

This sounds like a "well let's just see who lives longer" type of argument

[JoeP]

[Crumb]

Whatever you do, don't upload me: Lena @ Things Of Interest

[ChuckF]

Originally Posted by ChuckF

We are currently looking in to Parting Stone, which solidifies cremated remains into a ceramic-like stone using a clay binder. It’s a little gimmicky but I think it’s pretty neat because it is something tactile that you can actually handle easily, unlike cremated remains. It’s also a simple way to share out cremated remains among people, or spread them in a few places, like if you want to just leave a rock on the beach instead of getting a boat to scatter ashes, etc. There is something satisfying about the solidity of it. We’ll see. A dog that died about a decade ago has been on the shelf since then, so he is going to test it out for us. He should be coming home in a few weeks. If they do a good job, they may get more business from us.

He's home! We sent away a little urn with a few cups of cremated remains, and today got back a little pine box containing 19 smooth, white stones. The largest fits in the palm of a hand.



They are generally smooth and uniform; a few have minor flaws. They seem pretty tough. It is basically fired clay, and about that hardness but smoother, with an outside texture somewhere between a ceramic coffee mug and unglazed pottery. We are going to put some out in the garden, and the smallest one gets to come on vacation with us. Maybe we'll put some others in a vase or something so he can hang out with us in the living room.

Overall, I am quite pleased. A big chunk of the cost is shipping - cremated remains can only be sent by USPS Priority Mail Express (with big CREMATED REMAINS stickers on all sides of the box) there and back. If we repeat for other sets of remains, we may try for a bulk shipment with multiple orders.

[vremya]

I learned all about mailing cremated remains when my friend Ezra died and we had to mail their kitty's ashes to NJ so they could be interred together. It's a little bit of a song and dance, but if you find the right post office, it's all routine for them.

[ChuckF]

The PO didn’t bat an eye at the contents label but there was significant consternation over the prepaid postage label. Apparently the form had been superseded last year, and we were provided a new form, which appeared identical in every respect to the form that was torn off of the box. Once the new form was completed they seemed satisfied. I made a note of the form number with the intent of reading the postal regs and manual when I got home. I foolishly theorized that being a trained lawyer would enable me to comprehend postal rules. I was wrong.

[Ari]

Those are quite nice!