You know you're in for a real treat when the first thing you see after the intro is Kate Beckinsale walk into the Antarctica station and straight into her room to take a shower. As easy as Ms. Beckinsale is on the eye, this was really lame. They probably just added it to make up for the fact that she's wearing bulky clothes for the rest of the movie ...
Anyway, as one critic said: "The film's slick and expensive looking but dumber than a dead penguin". That says it all. Avoid!
Robocop 3 - OMG, Rip Torn, Jill Hennessy, Bradley Whitford, and the rest of the cast should never include this movie in their resumes. The acting was horrible, the special effects were 1950s B-movie bad, and the directing abysmal. This movie shouldn't even be watched at 3:00 AM on a Monday morning, or ever. Why wasn't every copy of this burned?
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Sleep - the most beautiful experience in life - except drink.--W.C. Fields
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Live for today and not tomorrow
Live for the Now and whats here
Stop living for what maybe or what may never come
Live for the day already here
Robocop 3 - OMG, Rip Torn, Jill Hennessy, Bradley Whitford, and the rest of the cast should never include this movie in their resumes. The acting was horrible, the special effects were 1950s B-movie bad, and the directing abysmal. This movie shouldn't even be watched at 3:00 AM on a Monday morning, or ever. Why wasn't every copy of this burned?
One line from the trailer was etched in my memory for all time: "I thought your ninja was supposed to take care of Robocop." A good thing, too, 'cause that reminds me never to see it.
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hide, witch, hide / the good folks come to burn thee / their keen enjoyment hid behind / a gothic mask of duty - P. Kantner
Despite them saying those are all TV movies, they're not entirely correct. I Want To Marry Ryan Banks was in theaters for a short while. I think Patrick Swayze's King Solomon's Mine was too, and failed badly.
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Sleep - the most beautiful experience in life - except drink.--W.C. Fields
Zatoichi Meets Yojimbo. I though it would be fun bad, but it was just pretty mediocre. Mifune was not at his peak, but enjoyable to watch as ever. The writing was the worst part. Still, it's taught me that I don't want to track down any other Zatoichi movies with the original actor. He gave the character a number of physical ticks that I found distracting and annoying.
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"freedom to differ is not limited to things that do not matter much. That would be a mere shadow of freedom. The test of its substance is the right to differ as to things that touch the heart of the existing order."
- Justice Robert Jackson, West Virginia State Board of Ed. v. Barnette
As long as the series was--1962 to 1989--it sort of quickly fell into the 70-80s "Bond" films where stupid ideas ruled. Most of the films are formulaic with "OMFG!! He . . . can . . . cut a candle . . . LENGTHWISE!!1!" stunts.
I never really found the character--even in the early ones--at all interesting.
That being written, Takeshi Katano's 2003 movie is fantastic.
I own Takeshi Kitano's version. Admittedly, it's a bootleg. I bought it on the street in Toronto the day after I saw the movie in the theater for less than I'd paid for my ticket. I just couldn't resist that idea.
Takeshi Kitano is probably my favorite living director. I am a huge fan! I need to buy that DVD legitimately because he certainly deserves my money.
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"freedom to differ is not limited to things that do not matter much. That would be a mere shadow of freedom. The test of its substance is the right to differ as to things that touch the heart of the existing order."
- Justice Robert Jackson, West Virginia State Board of Ed. v. Barnette
There is something so magically wrong with this movie that it can only be the product of divine intervention. If you took the greatest filmmakers in history and gave them all the task of purposefully creating a film as spectacularly horrible as this not one of them, with all their knowledge and skill, could make anything that could even be considered as a contender. Not one line or scene would rival any moment in The Room.
Not exactly a Fresh on the Tomatometer, I would say.
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Sleep - the most beautiful experience in life - except drink.--W.C. Fields
The Nostalgia Critic did a review of that film, and the creator/writer/director/lead actor/nutjob behind it threatened to sue because he used footage from it. It was obviously covered by fair use, but his video host (blip, I think) removed it out of paranoia. So he replaced it with this video, which is kinda lame, but at least it's not The Room. It's a shame because NC is sort of hit/miss, and that was one of his better efforts.
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hide, witch, hide / the good folks come to burn thee / their keen enjoyment hid behind / a gothic mask of duty - P. Kantner
The Switch with Jennifer Aniston and Jason Bateman.
I like Jason Bateman, I've liked him ever since It's Your Move.
But this movie stank, it was awful, awful, AWFUL. Come on, I knew going in it was a chick flick, I knew the plot would be something along the lines of "main characters nearly get together, then actually do get together, then something horrible splits them up and finally they get together for good". I knew that. But the acting, awful. The dialogue, awful. The side characters, awful (even Jeff Goldblum and I usually like him). Truly it is a stinker of a movie.
Sou loves a good chick flick and she looked over at me no less than 5 times (the first 10 mins into the movies) and whispered "this movie is terrible". I am only greatful that we didn't pay for it.
I suppose Tristram Shandy: A Cock and Bull Story was supposed to be a movie about real-life director Michael Winterbottom playing himself and filming a movie on an unfilmable novel, that is, Laurence Stern's The Life and Opinions of Tristram Shandy, Gentleman. I have not read the novel, but the portions of the film depicting it (in a pretty clever and silly fashion) were rather enjoyable and made me think the entire film would be well worth it. Sadly the further it went on, the more of a waste of time I came to believe it was. i wish the whole thing was done in the character of Tristram Strandum, rather than the gimmick of switching back to real-life cameo versions of the actors. Perhaps if I read the book it would all come together or something, but I don't know. It wasn't worth it.
Robin Hood with Russell Crowe. Way to make a movie about not-Robin Hood. As in not robbin' from anyone except some grain at one point. And the whole "you're not really a peasant archer, you're a wizard Harry!" schtick was lame. And for 2.5 hours too. Gah.
I'm putting Iron Man 2 in here too because it doesn't belong in the good movies thread. It was okay but there were far too many holes.
Stark invents a new element by firing a laser at some other element. Orly?
The fight at the end is practically over before Stark decides that he should take the fight away from the Expo and all the innocent bystanders. Also the final fight between Rourke (who was awesome) and the two Iron Men was far too short and lame.
And who the fuck thought Don Cheadle would be a good substitute as Rhodes?
And when the bad robots start blowing up how does Stark know exactly where Pepper is?
Apart from that I liked it. RDJ is such a sardonic actor and the
Captain America/Avenger
sideswipe was cool.
All in all 6/10.
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Don't pray in my school and I won't think in your church.
I liked Crowe in A Beautiful Mind and Body of Lies...and I gave Gladiator a "mercy watch" because it had Oliver Reed in it as Antonius Proximo and there was no way I was ever going to miss that.
Oliver Reed has always been one of those memorable actors and I've been a fan since "The Assassination Bureau" and the Musketeers movies of the 70s.
What an interesting life he lived.
The last movie that was stand out suck was Resident Evil: Apocalypse...I mean, what the hell?
At least Afterlife 3D offers some respect for where the last one left off (unlike Apocalypse), introduces main game characters (Redfields) into the movie franchise and the return of one of the main characters at the end was just cool and unexpected...plus the visual effects were far better in Afterlife than the "zombie crows in the desert abomination" they afflicted fans with last time.
Re: Seen any crappy movies?
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