My latest design and 3d print was a twisted periscope for rotating a view 90 degrees. But the plastic mirrors I bought from Amazon are too flexible and give a distorted view. I tried visiting a glass seller to buy either some cut-to-size mirror glass, or failing that, some pieces of ordinary glass to act as flat bases I could stick the thin plastic mirrors too - but the shop was closed due to COVID. So that project is now on hold.
The six pre baked frozen pizzas from our favorite pizza place arrived - two of which are slotted for Valentine's Day Dinner. I can't hide six frozen pizzas, so it's not going to be a surprise. (It also won't be a surprise because I've done this the last few V-days.)
The problem with social media is that there's no way I can talk shit about a mutual friend without getting blowback. As such, I have no way of soliciting support or just bitching out loud without damaging relationships.
So, I'm gonna do it here.
A few weeks ago I posted this, it was prompted by the Republican party gearing up their anti-deficit position (again):
"Remember, for the next four years, the Republican party will care about all the things that they didn't give a shit about the last four years. They only have bad faith arguments.
We need to ignore their pearl clutching and do the work that needs to be done."
A good friend of mine, someone I've known for over 30 years posted this in response:
I'm sorry you feel that way about me. If you actually think that of me you don't know me at all. Does you thinking that all Republicans are the same mean I should think all Democrats are destroying property and trying to kill police officers? I never thought that but maybe I am wrong. Also just so you know I am a registered Democrat and voted for Bush, Clinton and Obama the first term. I like to think people are allowed to think for themselves but sadly I guess we aren't. I will miss you if you unfriend me. I will never unfriend you for thinking different. Also just so you know I do not know anyone who thinks the attack on the capital was right and I live on long Island where most of us are Republicans. I also can tell you most of us did not want Trump or Biden. They both suck! People who should run will never run because our government is corrupt on both sides.
Love you whether or not you love me anymore.
I'll be honest, I was flat-footed. I didn't think what I had said should have prompted this response. I responded to my friend privately and expressed how I was directing this at the Republican party and not conservatives in general and that I was specifically referencing their flip-flopping on fiscal conservatism.
I am sorry that my words hurt you. I did not intend to be mean and certainly would never want to be mean to you. But, it's clear that I hurt you and for that I do apologize. I can't say that I will change the way I post about politics. And as I said, I do try to keep it to policies, platforms and parties and not individual citizens and friends.
But, I will try to be more aware of the feelings of the people who may read my posts. By way of explanation, my post about the Republican Party having bad faith arguments was inspired by the fact that the GOP is now complaining about the deficit, when they have not said a thing about it in the last four years when it was being run up like crazy. I should have mentioned that specifically and avoided hurting you.
My friend responded with how family has unfriended them because of their opinions and that they probably shouldn't have responded to my post.
It's fine
I try not to read your post when political. I try not to Facebook at all. I should not have read
Having left it at that, a coupla three days later my friend posted that they cannot abide the political hate anymore and will need to unfriend people to preserve their sanity. I was one of those unfriended.
I have to say that this bothered me more than I thought it would. I responded to my friend saying to take the time you need, I understand and I'm here if they need me. But, inside, I'm really bothered by it. Not that my friend needed to step away, but that they would characterize my posts as hateful.
Now I recognize that I am showing you all only this one post in isolation. So, maybe I am actually really hateful. But, I don't think I am. And it bothers me that someone thinks I am. Also, if I'm being honest, I'm pretty fucking angry at my friend for their response.
I guess I'm asking AITA? And probably seeking validation that I'm not. But, I really would appreciate any insight into why my friend would respond like this, was it really something I said or is there some other reason for this thin-skinned reaction?
1. WEI! YOUR PROBLEM IS THAT YOU ARE POSTING IN OTHER PLACES INSTEAD OF HERE WHERE YOU BELONG!
2. Your post doesn't look rude to me. You specifically said the party, not all Republicans. The only thing I can imagine is that your friend is assuming you were being passive aggressive. I think I'd have been much less accommodating than you were. (Although maybe I'd think different if it were my friend rather than a stranger from a one-off anecdote.) I imagine a lot of Republicans are feeling a little defensive these days, but that's no excuse for lashing out like that. It's sort of like the 'not all men' guys. If they're not guilty of that, then obviously you're not talking about them personally. Maybe they should be holding their party accountable for its actions rather than attacking you for noticing.
3. This sort of context collapse is one of the main reasons general purpose social media is a scourge. It erases the boundaries inherent to 'social circles' and makes them an all or nothing thing, so you can't have different groups of friends who understand your perspective on certain things so you don't need to couch everything you say in caveats and explanations. Like, you should be able to have friends you can freely discuss death metal with without having to explain to your boss and all your relatives that you don't take the Satan stuff literally. Note that this third point circles back to the first, which is that you should always be posting here instead of those other places.
It is one ugly stick wicket trying to live where the rubber runs over the road. But this is where we are today. And social media doesn't really help.
The dance around the pole here is the confluence of you criticizing the party leadership. The party leadership who "play the political game to grow and or maintain influence and power." And the voters who vote for them who get caught up in the being criticized.
The "oh now they seem to care about fiscal responsibility" is meant purely to lambast the leadership. But it splashes onto the voters who may likely always care about fiscal responsibility. (Or have their pet issue(s) with which they agree to ride forever just because.
But honestly. Republican leadership has fucked their own selves by remaining hitched to that guy and his followers.
I had similar thoughts. First thing I thought was "not all men", second I thought was that you were more apologetic than I would have been. I also thought that your friend might be taking it from all sides currently and is a bit sensitive right now (and honestly, ANYONE that still calls themselves a Republican SHOULD be taking it from all sides).
What you said was clearly about the party as a whole. They reacted as if it was a personal attack. There's no good reason for that.
Maybe:
- They can't distinguish general vs specific criticisms. Maybe that's more common in the right wing.
- They do identify with the criticisms, and are snowflakishly sensitive to criticism, and/or were looking for a fight. Maybe that, too, is more common in the right wing.
- They think flip-flopping and a complete lack of integrity are fair and to be expected in politics. Again ...
The most charitable interpretation is that they have been deeply hurt and damaged by something unknown and thus extra sensitive to perceived slights.
So ... on the evidence presented, you're not TA. I mean you could very well be, just not here
I'm guessing that many conservatives in America are feeling severe cognitive dissonance since Trump lost the election and started to try to steal it *.
Cognitive dissonance can lead to better self-knowledge, but it takes time. In the meantime these people are insecure and vulnerable, and dishonest about why that is.
You get blamed for making them feel bad because who else are they going to blame?
* And a small but significant percentage aren't, because they're Nazis.
__________________
"Her eyes in certain light were violet, and all her teeth were even. That's a rare, fair feature: even teeth. She smiled to excess, but she chewed with real distinction." - Eleanor of Aquitaine
Shit, you should see what I post to social media. Your post didn't even BEGIN to touch the line, much less cross it. Your (former?) friend is feeling guilty, and is taking it out on you.
NOT the asshole.
You should see MY posts to social media for the past four years, and consider yourself innocent of wrongdoing.
The difference between the What You Did and the Who You Are argument.
Billy Bob makes joke about fried chicken and watermelon.
DeShawn says that was a pretty racist joke.
Billy Bob, offended, demands to now why DeShawn has called him a racist.
Now I recognize that I am showing you all only this one post in isolation.
This, but you need to take it one step further, you are seeing your friend’s reply in isolation. You almost certainly got caught in the crossfire of arguments and issues they are having in their own head with other people. It’s good they seem to see this as well.
I understand how the unfriending can be bothersome, though here too there’s a chance this is an attempt to take control of a different situation. My guess is that whoever your friends real problems are, they can’t be unfriended so easily and so they are hyperextending in areas they can control in hopes (unconsciously) that it will make up for it.
We're FB friends again and I am very happy about that, soon after venting here I felt different about the situation. I wasn't nearly as troubled and am thankful to you all for getting me there.
Aaand not even a full week later, guess who got into it on FB over Dr. Seuss.
We are still friends and all, I did not make an antagonizing post. But, I spoke with her on the phone and she seemed so angry about the thing and so personally attacked. Like literally "If you think Dr. Seuss books are racists, then you must think I'm racist."
I wish I could find a way to defuse these culture war bombs that the Right wing keeps setting off in my social feeds.
Re: What's up with you?
poor thing, and thousands in treatment and surgery and meds and kitty died on Monday. 
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Linear Mode
