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  #26  
Old 08-19-2022, 05:33 PM
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Default Re: I Fought the LOL and the LOL Won

Jesus Christ, what a dumbfuck. Med mal defense lawyers benefit not only from the fact that they don't need to prove anything at trial but also from heavy reluctance of people in general to believe docs are capable of fucking up in life-threatening ways. So what do you do upon getting a 100% successful outcome like this? Brag on video about how you were able to blame others for your guy's fuck-up.


Smart money says the professional liability insurer that funded the defense will be all like, "Who has two thumbs and won't be paying the attorney fees for this here retrial"?
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  #27  
Old 08-25-2022, 05:11 PM
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Default Re: I Fought the LOL and the LOL Won

Trump has yet again found the BEST LAWYERS. On Monday a new trio of clowns commenced a lawsuit in the U.S. District Court for the Southern District of Florida seeking a bunch of crackheaded relief as to the FBI search of the trash palace. They commenced the case by filing a motion - not a complaint, but a motion - that rambles on for 20+ pages before demanding "an order that: (a) appoints a Special Master; (b) enjoins further review of seized materials by the Govemment until a Special Master is appointed (c) requires the Government to provide a more detailed Receipt For Property; and (d) requires the Government to return any item seized that was not within the scope of the Search Warrant."

An online docket is available here, and already contains some entertaining shit. On the day of filing, for example, we see:

Quote:
Clerk's Notice of Filing Deficiency Re: 1 Complaint filed by Donald J. Trump. Document(s) were filed conventionally that should have been filed electronically (CM/ECF Administrative Procedures). (jas) (Entered: 08/22/2022)
Also, two of the three lolyers on this complaint are not admitted to the bar of this particular court. Accordingly, they need permission to appear and represent a party in this particular case, what's called a pro hac vice admission. They dutifully filed motions to appear pro hac vice, but . . .

Quote:
PAPERLESS ORDER denying without prejudice 5 6 Motions to Appear Pro Hac Vice, Consents to Designation, and Requests to Electronically Receive Notices of Electronic Filing for M. Evan Corcoran and James M. Trusty. Local counsel is instructed to refile the motions in strict accordance with Local Rule 4(b) of the Rules Governing the Admission, Practice, Peer Review, and Discipline of Attorneys. A sample motion can be found on the Court's website at Pro Hac Vice Appearance | Southern District of Florida | United States District Court. Signed by Judge Aileen M. Cannon on 8/23/2022. (dsy) (Entered: 08/23/2022)
It is difficult to fuck up a pro hac vice motion. Every court in the federal system has detailed instructions in their local rules, and most - like this one - have a fill-in-the-blank form. But Messrs. Corcoran and Trusty believed, achieved, and did in fact fuck it up. (Yesterday they got it right and received the court's permission to represent Trump in this here lolsuit.)

But the real entertainment came on Tuesday when the judge assigned to the case, a Trump appointee, wrote:

Quote:
PAPERLESS ORDER: The Court is in receipt of 1 Plaintiff's Motion for Judicial Oversight and Additional Relief. To facilitate appropriate resolution, on or before August 26, 2022, Plaintiff shall file a supplement to the Motion further elaborating on the following: (1) the asserted basis for the exercise of this Court's jurisdiction, whether legal, equitable/anomalous, or both; (2) the framework applicable to the exercise of such jurisdiction; (3) the precise relief sought, including any request for injunctive relief pending resolution of the Motion; (4) the effect, if any, of the proceeding before Magistrate Judge Bruce E. Reinhart; and (5) the status of Plaintiff's efforts to perfect service on Defendant. Signed by Judge Aileen M. Cannon on 8/23/2022. (AMC) (Entered: 08/23/2022)
Saw some people on line shrieking about a Trump-appointed judge going out of her way to help Trump, but lol no. That's not what a judge helping a litigant looks like. Rather, this is a judge telling a litigant, "Please have someone with a clue completely rewrite whatever the fuck that is until it becomes an actual law thingy."

The out-of-state loyers are this guy and this guy, who claim expertise in white collar criminal defense. :cheesywink: This is Trump's local counsel, cuz it's all all about the cute chickypoos with that Trump guy. She spends her days helping insurance companies stiff policyholders on first-party claims.
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  #28  
Old 10-03-2022, 09:05 PM
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Default Re: I Fought the LOL and the LOL Won

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  #29  
Old 10-03-2022, 11:28 PM
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Default Re: I Fought the LOL and the LOL Won

Quote:
INTEREST OF THE AMICUS CURIAE

The Onion is the world’s leading news publication, offering highly acclaimed, universally revered coverage of breaking national, international, and local news events. Rising from its humble beginnings as a print newspaper in 1756, The Onion now enjoys a daily readership of 4.3 trillion and has grown into the single most powerful and influential organization in human history.

In addition to maintaining a towering standard of excellence to which the rest of the industry aspires, The Onion supports more than 350,000 full- and part-time journalism jobs in its numerous news bureaus and manual labor camps stationed around the world, and members of its editorial board have served with distinction in an advisory capacity for such nations as China, Syria, Somalia, and the former Soviet Union. On top of its journalistic pursuits, The Onion also owns and operates the majority of the world’s transoceanic shipping lanes, stands on the nation’s leading edge on matters of deforestation and strip mining, and proudly conducts tests on millions of animals daily.
:laugh:
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  #30  
Old 10-04-2022, 06:08 AM
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Default Re: I Fought the LOL and the LOL Won

I should have knowned that someborty would beat me to the punch of posting what is most likely going to go down in history as the greatest amicus brief in all of all time and history.

:shakefist:
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  #31  
Old 10-12-2022, 10:51 PM
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Default Re: I Fought the LOL and the LOL Won

Bend over, Alex. You're facing the fully loaded burrito.
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  #32  
Old 10-13-2022, 06:11 AM
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Default Re: I Fought the LOL and the LOL Won

Thanks to tort reform, the actual amount will be an incredibly insultingly smaller amount. That he still won't pay, I'm sure.
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  #33  
Old 10-13-2022, 10:44 AM
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Default Re: I Fought the LOL and the LOL Won

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  #34  
Old 10-27-2022, 01:54 AM
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Default Re: I Fought the LOL and the LOL Won

There's a titty bar in this part of the world called Shotgun Willie's, which bills itself "Denver Metro’s premiere and most legendary Gentleman’s club."

Back in 2019, a 48-year-old patron (an executive with Kroger, a massive grocery store operation) died at the place. The decedent's heirs filed a wrongful death action, claiming the death resulted from a tackle and chokehold administered by one of the bartenders. Shotgun Willie's alleges the cause of death was a preexisting heart condition.

The case has been trundling along at a glacial pace, but was all set for trial early next month until one of Shotgun Willie's lawyers died . . . at Shotgun Willie's. Dudebro, 70 years of age, apparently had two or three drinks over the course of two hours before starting to act crazy. One witness opined that the lawyer was on shrooms because it sounded like he was hallucinating.

One of the employees apparently drove old dude home only to bring him back to the club for fear of leaving the guy alone in his severely addled state. They left him in his car in Shotgun Willie's parking lot and checked on him periodically. Around 11:30 that night they saw he wasn't breathing and called 911. Too late!

The description of the hearing on Shotgun Willie's motion to continue the trial gave me a lol or two:

Quote:
Listening to arguments for four hours, the presiding judge, Peter Michaelson, reportedly sighed, cradled his head in his hands and rubbed his face as he listened to a chain of events unlikely to have much precedent in American jurisprudence.
The Shotgun Willie's lawyer who argued the motion "acknowledg[ed] it was 'kind of weird' that Long died at the club he was defending over another death."

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  #35  
Old 10-27-2022, 08:02 AM
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Default Re: I Fought the LOL and the LOL Won

Quote:
Originally Posted by Stephen Maturin View Post

One of the employees apparently drove old dude home only to bring him back to the club for fear of leaving the guy alone in his severely addled state. They left him in his car in Shotgun Willie's parking lot and checked on him periodically. Around 11:30 that night they saw he wasn't breathing and called 911. Too late!
That's crazy, why didn't they take him to A&E, oh right - America.
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  #36  
Old 10-27-2022, 10:39 AM
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Default Re: I Fought the LOL and the LOL Won

By the description of the story involving the mishandling of booze, Russia or any other place where they make vodka* could apply.

*except :speciallion: . Those motherfuckers can pack it back and still make it in to work in the morning
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  #37  
Old 10-27-2022, 01:57 PM
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Default Re: I Fought the LOL and the LOL Won

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Originally Posted by JoeP View Post
That's crazy, why didn't they take him to A&E, oh right - America.
Why would they have taken him to a TV studio? :confused:
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  #38  
Old 10-28-2022, 12:52 AM
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Default Re: I Fought the LOL and the LOL Won

Quote:
Originally Posted by viscousmemories View Post
Quote:
Originally Posted by JoeP View Post
That's crazy, why didn't they take him to A&E, oh right - America.
Why would they have taken him to a TV studio? :confused:
Bravo
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