I came home to a box stuffed in our mailbox addressed to the husband. So I take it inside and don't think much of it. I open it up and there is a large funky colored dildo. I am standing in the kitchen holding a dildo wondering wtf is going on and then it occurs to me that maybe the husband ordered it to replace another item of mine. Then I get kinda of disappointed because that is definitely NOT what I wanted and he knew this. I pull out the receipt and notice that there is the wrong name and address. I'm assuming he ordered something for me and there was a mix up in the shipping. O.k. that explains a lot. And then I get this funny mental picture of knocking on this person's door with a dildo in hand saying "I believe this belongs to you.."
Moral of the story...never surprise a girl with a penis or a large phallic shaped object. Sometimes we have to be prepared for these things.
__________________ Don't make me break out my ninja powers..
I came home to a box stuffed in our mailbox addressed to the husband. So I take it inside and don't think much of it. I open it up and there is a large funky colored dildo.
At least you weren't there when they delivered it.
Hey, isn't that how that game goes? biochemgirl....in the kitchen...with a dildo. Or maybe it's Colonel Mustard in the library with a candlestick. Something like that
__________________ Don't make me break out my ninja powers..
Can somebody tell me whether it is possible for a glass dildo to shatter while it's in your ass?
Avoid extreme temperature differences. Glass changes temperature slowly, and can't withstand the stress of quick expansion/contraction that comes with temperature change.
So what you need to do is make sure that whatever else is in your anus along with the dildo is at ambient temperature or so. No icicles, no superheated metal rods. And god forbid you put all three in at once.
I am reminded of one of the verses of an off-color sea chanty, "The Good Ship Venus" (Friggin In The Riggin), recorded by Oscar Brand, Loudon Wainright III, The Sex Pistols and others.
The cabin boy's name was Kipper,
A cunning little nipper,
He lined his ass with broken glass,
And circumcised the skipper.
__________________ Old Pain In The Ass says: I am on a mission from God to comfort the afflicted and afflict the comfortable; to bring faith to the doubtful and doubt to the faithful.
Can somebody tell me whether it is possible for a glass dildo to shatter while it's in your ass?
I think as long as you make sure it is really supposed to be a dildo, you'll be fine. Don't just be any old glass bottle or whatever, up in there. Make sure it's intended for that purpose. Confirm with the vendor that it's not just a novelty item. Even if it doesn't break, it could still have lead in it. Lead poisoning could lead to brain damage, especially at a young age.
I did find out it was a vibrator to replace my broken one just because he felt like it. What an awesome hubby I have
You know half of the surprise of it was that it was a dildo in a package sent to my husband, if it were something ordered for me and sent to me it wouldn't have been as shocking. I believe I approached that subject with "Honey...do you have something to tell me"
__________________ Don't make me break out my ninja powers..
I have to chuckle. Immediately upon reading this, I said "Bullshit! You opened it up." and then, lo and behold, you opened it up!
Moral of the story: a woman does not think much of opening her husband's mail.
You know actually, if he were home I probably wouldn't. But if I let his mail pile up for the last seven and a half months it wouldn't have been pretty.
__________________ Don't make me break out my ninja powers..
Too discrete shipping
I am standing in the kitchen holding a dildo wondering wtf is going on and then it occurs to me that maybe the husband ordered it to replace another item of mine. Then I get kinda of disappointed because that is definitely NOT what I wanted and he knew this. I pull out the receipt and notice that there is the wrong name and address. I'm assuming he ordered something for me and there was a mix up in the shipping. O.k. that explains a lot. And then I get this funny mental picture of knocking on this person's door with a dildo in hand saying "I believe this belongs to you.." 
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