Poker: Table II Signup and Smack-Talk

[D. Scarlatti]

Figured I'd throw this in here for the hell of it:

POKER HANDS, best to worst.

1. Royal Flush - Straight to the Ace, all one suit



2. Straight Flush - Straight, all one suit



3. Four of a Kind



4. Full House - Three of a Kind plus a Pair



5. Flush - Five cards, all one suit



6. Straight - Five cards in sequence, mixed suits (Ace is high or low)



7. Three of a Kind



8. Two Pair



9. One Pair



10. High Card (in this case, a 7)



Unlike some other popular card games, no one suit outranks any other suit,* so ties split the pot.

* Someone disagrees with me:

If splitting a pot because of tied hands, award the odd chip to the hand that contains the highest-ranking single card, using suits to break ties if necessary (clubs ranking the lowest, followed by diamonds, hearts, and spades as in bridge). - wikipedia

Personally, I'd leave the odd chip in the pot, and yell "This is bullshit!" faux-indignantly if someone tried to take 12 cents from me because they had a King of Hearts to my King of Diamonds.

[livius drusus]

Oh sweet! We might have to make a poker sticky.

[TomJoe]

Raise it to 5.

(is that right?)

[livius drusus]

It is, but it's in the wrong thread. You be wanting this one.

[TomJoe]

Bastards!

Ok, done. Thanks.

[Leesifer]

Poker table 1 is ready for the flop.

[D. Scarlatti]

Originally Posted by Leesifer

Poker table 1 is ready for the flop.

Not quite. livius's bigtime raise has to make it around the table yet.

[Leesifer]

Ah! I didn't realise that.

[Crumb]

Julie! Oh Julieeeeee!

[Leesifer]

Originally Posted by D. Scarlatti

The bet is 5 lorins to ceptimus who's in the UK, so we're probably adjourned for the evening.

Bloody lightweight!

* Leesifer can\'t sleep at the moment, so is still awake when she should be in bed.

[ceptimus]

* ceptimus is up early, as he has a big day ahead of him.

[Leesifer]

5:30? You certainly were up early, cep.

[slimshady2357]

In the game thread vm asked:

Originally Posted by viscousmemories

I want to see TJ's bet and raise 3 more lorins, however you say that.

You could either say:
Raise 3

or

Raise to 6 total

or

Raise 3 more

I would go with the one of the last two, especially the middle one. It allows for less confusion.

[beyelzu]

betting 3 when the pot is 20 is either begging for a call or really weak attempt at buying the pot. half the pot. a bet of ten is with authority.

[D. Scarlatti]

Now, now. We have a few beginners at the table. Be nice.

[beyelzu]

just trying to be helpful.

if i came across as assholish, it wasnt intentional.

[D. Scarlatti]

I know, I'm just kidding around. This is the smack talk thread, baby!

[Crumb]

Man you guys are high rollers around here. Julies in for 2/3 of her remaining cash after the flop. liv's all in after the flop. Sheesh.

[TomJoe]

Just so everyone knows, whenever I play cards with my family ... I lose.

So if I win, you guys really must suck. Though, I expect I'll lose.

[Smilin]

LOL...you sound like QuietBear now there TomJoe....

[slimshady2357]

Scarlatti you nutless monkey, you might want to consider adding the current pot value to your posts.

What? he said it was the smack talk thread!

[Smilin]

at ya'll...

[D. Scarlatti]

Originally Posted by slimshady2357

current pot value

I think it's around two bills an ounce for decent hydro (I'm talkin' two-toke weed here).

[Julie]

2 bills = $200? Wow thats is some expencive pot...

Then again I do live in BC

[D. Scarlatti]

Ridiculous, ain't it? Gimme the days of the 60-dollar, five-finger bag of Colombian!

"We're only welcome for our drink and smoke"
- Joni Mitchell, Furry Sings The Blues