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View Poll Results: Is morning sex an acceptable substitute for coffee?
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No! Honey, wake up, the coffee maker is trying to have sex with me again, oh, that's you.
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9 |
34.62% |
Not really. Ok, that's over, let's begin our day with a nice cup of coffee.
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4 |
15.38% |
Sure, whatever. An orgasm is as good as a latte.
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3 |
11.54% |
Always! Morning sex is the best part of waking up!
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10 |
38.46% |
01-23-2012, 03:59 PM
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liar in wolf's clothing
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Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Frequently about
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Morning sex: is it an acceptable substitute for coffee?
Well?
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01-23-2012, 04:26 PM
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Just keep m'nose clean, egg, chips & beans, I'm always full of steam
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Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: so far out, I'm too far in
Gender: Bender
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Re: Morning sex: is it an acceptable substitute for coffee?
Jesus Christ. Next you'll be suggesting even dumber supposed substitutes for coffee, like "exercise." Fucking pervert.
__________________
"Her eyes in certain light were violet, and all her teeth were even. That's a rare, fair feature: even teeth. She smiled to excess, but she chewed with real distinction." - Eleanor of Aquitaine
...........
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Thanks, from:
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Adam (01-21-2014), Angakuk (01-24-2012), ChuckF (01-23-2012), chunksmediocrites (01-23-2012), Clutch Munny (01-25-2012), Demimonde (01-23-2012), Ensign Steve (01-23-2012), Janet (01-25-2012), Kael (01-23-2012), Leesifer (01-23-2012), lisarea (01-23-2012), livius drusus (01-23-2012), Megatron (01-24-2012), Pan Narrans (01-24-2012), SharonDee (01-23-2012), Shelli (01-23-2012), SR71 (01-23-2012), Stephen Maturin (01-23-2012), Stormlight (02-03-2012), vremya (01-24-2012), Watser? (01-23-2012), Zehava (01-23-2012)
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01-23-2012, 05:47 PM
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select custom_user_title from user_info where username='Goliath';
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Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Kansas City, MO
Gender: Male
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Re: Morning sex: is it an acceptable substitute for coffee?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sock Puppet
Jesus Christ. Next you'll be suggesting even dumber supposed substitutes for coffee, like "exercise." Fucking pervert.
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Obligatory xkcd.
__________________
Cleanliness is next to godliness.
Godliness is next to impossible.
Therefore, cleanliness is next to impossible.
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01-23-2012, 05:52 PM
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Dogehlaugher -Scrutari
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Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Northwest
Gender: Female
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Re: Morning sex: is it an acceptable substitute for coffee?
It would be a good substitute if there weren't a small child running through the house all hours of the morning. So coffee it is.
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01-23-2012, 06:01 PM
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the internet says I'm right
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Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Western U.S.
Gender: Male
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Re: Morning sex: is it an acceptable substitute for coffee?
I reserve coffee for times I need to stay awake longer than normal, since I build up a caffeine tolerance pretty quickly. So, morning sex is always preferable to morning coffee.
__________________
For Science!Quidquid latine dictum sit, altum videtur.
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01-23-2012, 06:02 PM
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an angry unicorn or a non-murdering leprechaun
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Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: Edge of Society
Gender: Female
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Re: Morning sex: is it an acceptable substitute for coffee?
Does it count if the sight of the cute naked barista in my kitchen leads to sex while the coffee is brewing?
I am going to count it anyway.
__________________
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Thanks, from:
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Adam (01-21-2014), ChuckF (01-23-2012), Clutch Munny (01-25-2012), Doctor X (01-23-2012), Goliath (01-24-2012), Janet (01-25-2012), Kael (01-23-2012), Megatron (01-24-2012), SR71 (01-23-2012), Stormlight (02-03-2012), Watser? (01-23-2012)
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01-23-2012, 06:25 PM
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Re: Morning sex: is it an acceptable substitute for coffee?
ChuckF's Mom make good coffee. . . .
--J.D.
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01-23-2012, 06:29 PM
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liar in wolf's clothing
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Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Frequently about
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Demimonde
Does it count if the sight of the cute naked barista in my kitchen leads to sex while the coffee is brewing?
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Why is it that it's perfectly ok for a woman to do this, but when a man does it he is inevitably told not to return to that particular Starbucks Target location ever again, and I still do not see why the security guard had to yell like that, stupid society prejudice.
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Thanks, from:
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Adam (01-21-2014), Anastasia Beaverhausen (01-24-2012), Angakuk (01-24-2012), chunksmediocrites (01-23-2012), Clutch Munny (01-25-2012), Demimonde (01-23-2012), Doctor X (01-24-2012), Goliath (01-24-2012), Gonzo (01-23-2012), Janet (01-25-2012), Kael (01-23-2012), Leesifer (01-24-2012), lisarea (01-23-2012), livius drusus (01-23-2012), Megatron (01-24-2012), Pan Narrans (01-24-2012), Qingdai (01-23-2012), SharonDee (01-23-2012), ShottleBop (01-24-2012), Sock Puppet (01-23-2012), Stormlight (02-03-2012), Watser? (01-23-2012), Zehava (01-23-2012)
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01-23-2012, 06:48 PM
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Stoic Derelict... The cup is empty
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Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: The Dustbin of History
Gender: Male
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Re: Morning sex: is it an acceptable substitute for coffee?
Define "morning sex".
__________________
Chained out, like a sitting duck just waiting for the fall _Cage the Elephant
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01-23-2012, 06:55 PM
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Astroid the Foine Loine between a Poirate and a Farrrmer
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Join Date: Feb 2011
Gender: Male
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Re: Morning sex: is it an acceptable substitute for coffee?
REAL men would know that would never work. Because they fall asleep after sex, hitting REM sleep just before they have finished rolling over.
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01-23-2012, 07:06 PM
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Dogehlaugher -Scrutari
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Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Northwest
Gender: Female
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Re: Morning sex: is it an acceptable substitute for coffee?
Quote:
Originally Posted by ChuckF
Starbucks Target location
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See, that's your problem right there. They're Target employees, not Starbucks employees. Have you no culture?
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01-23-2012, 11:34 PM
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happy now, Mussolini?
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Join Date: May 2006
Location: location, location
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Re: Morning sex: is it an acceptable substitute for coffee?
I checked with my wife to find out how I think about this.
"Chuck I'm offended by that question and that is the stupidest question ever."
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Thanks, from:
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ChuckF (01-23-2012), chunksmediocrites (01-24-2012), Clutch Munny (01-25-2012), Deadlokd (01-24-2012), Doctor X (01-24-2012), Janet (01-25-2012), Kael (01-24-2012), Leesifer (01-24-2012), lisarea (01-24-2012), livius drusus (01-24-2012), SharonDee (01-24-2012), Sock Puppet (01-24-2012), SR71 (01-24-2012), Stormlight (02-03-2012), Vivisectus (01-24-2012), Watser? (01-23-2012), wei yau (01-24-2012)
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01-23-2012, 11:39 PM
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liar in wolf's clothing
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Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Frequently about
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Re: Morning sex: is it an acceptable substitute for coffee?
So that's a no?
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01-24-2012, 03:40 AM
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A fellow sophisticate
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Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Cowtown, Kansas
Gender: Male
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Re: Morning sex: is it an acceptable substitute for coffee?
Don't like coffee.
__________________
Sleep - the most beautiful experience in life - except drink.--W.C. Fields
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01-24-2012, 04:16 AM
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Dogehlaugher -Scrutari
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Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Northwest
Gender: Female
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Re: Morning sex: is it an acceptable substitute for coffee?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Vivisectus
REAL men would know that would never work. Because they fall asleep after sex, hitting REM sleep just before they have finished rolling over.
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Shite! That's sounds great, then he wouldn't be getting in my way when I'm trying to get things done in the morning!
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01-24-2012, 06:28 AM
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NeoTillichian Hierophant & Partisan Hack
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Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Iowa
Gender: Male
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Re: Morning sex: is it an acceptable substitute for coffee?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Vivisectus
REAL men would know that would never work. Because they fall asleep after sex, hitting REM sleep just before they have finished rolling over.
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A man and his wife were having an argument about who
Should brew the coffee each morning.
The wife said, 'You should do it because you get up first,
And then we don't have to wait so long to get our coffee.
The husband said, 'You are in charge of cooking around here and
You should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for my coffee.'
Wife replies, 'No, you should do it, and besides, it is in the Bible that the man should do the coffee.'
Husband replies, 'I can't believe that, show me.'
So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament and showed him at the top of several pages, that it indeed says 'HEBREWS'.
This morning sex thing is clearly incompatible with the Biblical requirement that the man is responsible for making the coffee.
__________________
Old Pain In The Ass says: I am on a mission from God to comfort the afflicted and afflict the comfortable; to bring faith to the doubtful and doubt to the faithful.
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Thanks, from:
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Deadlokd (01-24-2012), Goliath (01-25-2012), Janet (01-25-2012), Kael (01-24-2012), Megatron (01-24-2012), Pan Narrans (01-24-2012), ShottleBop (01-24-2012), Stormlight (02-03-2012), Vivisectus (01-24-2012), vremya (01-24-2012), Watser? (01-24-2012)
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01-24-2012, 04:06 PM
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Solitary, poor, nasty, brutish, and short
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Re: Morning sex: is it an acceptable substitute for coffee?
I was going to politely ignore you, but I can't just sit by and allow this evil to triumph. It's disgusting enough that I have to wake up every single day and there are people who breathe and walk around and have big old faces and stuff and I have to act like I'm not mad about that.
I am going to think of a lot of new ways to wake your stupid face up, Chuck. IN CASE YOU HAVEN'T FIGURED IT OUT YET, they will mostly be different kinds of punching machines.
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Thanks, from:
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Adam (01-21-2014), Anastasia Beaverhausen (01-25-2012), ChuckF (01-24-2012), Clutch Munny (01-25-2012), Demimonde (01-24-2012), Gonzo (01-24-2012), Janet (01-25-2012), Kael (01-24-2012), Kyuss Apollo (01-25-2012), livius drusus (01-24-2012), Megatron (01-24-2012), Qingdai (01-25-2012), SharonDee (01-24-2012), Sock Puppet (01-24-2012), SR71 (01-24-2012), Stormlight (02-03-2012), Watser? (01-24-2012)
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01-24-2012, 05:37 PM
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Mr. Condescending Dick Nose
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Join Date: May 2007
Location: Augsburg
Gender: Male
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Re: Morning sex: is it an acceptable substitute for coffee?
Chuck: is he funny?
I vote no.
__________________
... it's just an idea
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01-24-2012, 05:42 PM
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the internet says I'm right
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Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Western U.S.
Gender: Male
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Re: Morning sex: is it an acceptable substitute for coffee?
Sounds like someone hasn't had their morning sex and/or coffee yet!
__________________
For Science!Quidquid latine dictum sit, altum videtur.
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01-24-2012, 11:50 PM
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liar in wolf's clothing
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Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Frequently about
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Re: Morning sex: is it an acceptable substitute for coffee?
mickthinks: is he an anti-Semite?
I vote yes!
lol this moarning sax thrad is now become a mickthinks thrad, as must all thrads in the fullness of time, ashes to ashes etc.
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01-25-2012, 12:39 AM
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Re: Morning sex: is it an acceptable substitute for coffee?
Thanks, ChuckF, now I have lost it.
--J.D.
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01-25-2012, 04:48 AM
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Clutchenheimer
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Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Canada
Gender: Male
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Re: Morning sex: is it an acceptable substitute for coffee?
I am totally not understanding why I can't wake up to She Who Has Needs And Why Did You Get to Bed So Late, then, in the fullness of time 11 seconds later have another awesome 5 minute snooze plus cuddle manly sprawl, and then get up and make myself a fine cup of coffee. Why must it be substitutes not additions? Why?
__________________
Your very presence is making me itchy.
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01-25-2012, 04:59 AM
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Some days it's not worth chewing through the straps.
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Join Date: May 2005
Location: Georgia
Gender: Male
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Re: Morning sex: is it an acceptable substitute for coffee?
I vote Sex AND Coffee. Sex offers a convenient place to rest your coffee cup. Why not take advantage of it?
__________________
I will always Sonoma Bear
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01-25-2012, 06:13 AM
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Fishy mokey
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Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Furrin parts
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Re: Morning sex: is it an acceptable substitute for coffee?
There does not seem to be any coffee involved in this song. 'e's one of them English types wot prefer tea.
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01-26-2012, 12:46 AM
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Dissonance is its own reward
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Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: World's End, NY
Gender: Bender
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Re: Morning sex: is it an acceptable substitute for coffee?
Quote:
Originally Posted by mulebear
I vote Sex AND Coffee. Sex offers a convenient place to rest your coffee cup. Why not take advantage of it?
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__________________
Father Helel, save us from the dark.
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