Return to Gender 101

[lisarea]

And also how gullible would someone have to be to not realize that story about the study was a hoax?

Even if you didn't realize the study never happened in the first place (which by all accounts it didn't), take a moment to think about methodology or something. There is no accurate or reliable way to even do that.

Hurrr. "Science!"

And yeah, word on the rape culture thing. A lot of people get super-kneejerky on that topic to the point that they're seriously incapable of even grasping the concept that there is a huge spectrum of even acceptable behaviors that can contribute to acceptance and even fetishization of non-consent, and that something being an aspect of rape culture doesn't mean it's actually rape, or even that it's totally unacceptable.

Stupid. People can be really really stupid.

[Ensign Steve]

Originally Posted by The Lone Ranger

So, suddenly, words like "boobies" and "tits" seem utterly scandalous and therefore absolutely hilarious, but you have no real idea why.

But most boys grow out of that phase pretty quickly, or at least, that was my impression.

You would like to think so. There's this bearded white guy auditing my image-processing class who is a 30-year IBM vet and bored retiree. We'll call him Tom. He is this guy:

I know him from before, he attended some of my workshops and was always really personable and respectful of my authoritah in the classroom.

Yesterday in class, the professor was talking about some work he did in digital mammography. (Do I have to mention at this point that I am the only woman in the class?) He was totally professional and straightforward about it, but when he talked about the process of capturing the images, he demonstrated using his hands in front of his chest ... it's hard to describe, but you would probably recognize it as that pancake pantomime thing that people do when they describe a mammogram. This is an advanced graduate-level course, so the students are grown-ass men, and Tom was the only one who giggled. I'm thinking, seriously? You're the oldest damn person in the room.

That was yesterday. Today I was sitting alone in our classroom before class, and I thought the door was propped open but it turns out it was closed and locked. At the class start time, I started worrying I was in the wrong place because I was still the only one there, and then Tom knocks on the door. There's a window, so I can see it's him, and the other students are there, too. I'm like "derp!" and I get up to open the door.

As he comes in, he says, "it's against the rules for a woman to be alone in here, not that it's much better now that I'm here" or some similar nonsensical thing. For fun I decide to play dumb and get him to clarify exactly what he meant by that. There is a rule against students being in classrooms without a teacher present, so I actually wasn't supposed to be alone in there, plus in the military there were rules about "one on one" situations between men and women, so it was almost plausible that he was talking about a real thing.

So I was like, "Wait, what?" and he starts to mumble and brush it off and head toward his desk, but I kept going like maybe he didn't hear me. "Tom. What rule are you talking about? The school rules?" and he goes "nothing, nevermind." I go, "Oh, were you joking?" and he goes, "Yeah. Sorry."

I was almost like aww because he was somewhat contrite about it and actually seemed sincere in his "Sorry", as in "I made a mistake that I now regret" as opposed to "I'm sorry you can't take a joke". I swear I'm such a soft touch sometimes.

[lisarea]

Now I want to say some more stuff.

I think the real insidious part about things like that, and the reason I feel so awful for young girls who witness it, is the objectification of women. Not even the sexual objectification, but the fact that women are never the subjects or the presumed audience.

Even in the mainstream media, you are never ever going to see anyone genericizing studies done on women. Heart disease studies done on men are "health and medicine" stories, heart disease studies done on women are "women's health" stories. If you did a study that showed that heterosexual women's blood pressure fell or something when they were exposed to man sweat, the headlines wouldn't be "Male sweat lowers blood pressure." They'd make sure to tack on "in women" there. (Nevermind the heterosexism and other normativity, even, for now.) You almost wouldn't even know that there are probably about as many straight women as there are straight men.

But in tech industry things, it's even worse, and people are even more oblivious somehow. It at least used to be really common to punctuate tech talks with pictures of sexy ladies "just to make sure everyone is still awake lol" and things like that.

The idea that someone for whatever reason might actually be AMBIVALENT about looking at women's breasts literally would never occur to them. They're going to go on and on and on talking about how 'you' can improve your heart health by ogling women's breasts, based on a fake study of heterosexual men, and that 9 year old is learning that the presumption of maleness is so ingrained that someone can be talking right to her face and still not notice her there.

And the thing is, after working and being around that sort of thing long enough, you get used to it to the point that you barely even notice that you were being constantly being treated like you aren't there. Some women even play along, pretending to be gayer than they are, and/or treating other women badly, just to fit in and get approval from men.

The sexualizing is a problem, too, but it's really compounded by the fact that seemingly the only time they even notice that women exist is when they're sexualizing them.

[The Lone Ranger]

For what it's worth, since so many of my students are going into Nursing, and since it's still a very female-dominated profession, my A&P classes are typically 90% female or thereabouts. Sometimes 100% female.

If any of my female students are harassing the rare male student, objectifying them, telling them that they don't belong in the profession, or otherwise giving them a hard time, I've yet to notice.

[Kael]

Originally Posted by The Lone Ranger

So, suddenly, words like "boobies" and "tits" seem utterly scandalous and therefore absolutely hilarious, but you have no real idea why.

But most boys grow out of that phase pretty quickly, or at least, that was my impression.

No, they really don't. And the reason is simple: No one ever tells them they should stop, either directly or by example. No one ever makes us grow up, so only a few of us ever do, really, usually by accident. The rest just keep throwing tantrums like the MRA crowd.

[But]

Originally Posted by Ensign Sigmund Freud

You would like to think so. There's this bearded white cum plastrauditing my image-facebookprocessing class who is a 30-year-old IBM veterinarian and boared retiree tirer le fusil de cock. We'll call him Tombomb. He is this stud:

href="http://porn.com/strippers/comic/1995-11-09/" 000/1000/100/21159/21159.stripandsuck.jpg" border="0" alt="Bigdicksandhornyebony.com" /></a>

I know him from before, he attended some of my work ships and was always really ponrsonable and respictful of my authoritoh in the classroom.

Yesterday in class, the pornfessor was talking about some pork he did in digital mammography. (Do I have to mention at this point that I am the only WOMAN in the class?) He was totally po-fessional and straight and then right deep forward abouch it, but when he talked about the process of capturing the image boobs, he demonstrated using his rightleft hands in front of his red brain face CIGAR BONER... it's hard to describe, but you would probably recognize it as that shit women do in the shower pancake pantomime thing that people do when they describe a BOOB and 2 Foro mammi gram. This is an "CLOSED" advanced graduate-level course, so the students stay outr or grown and ass apemen, and Tom was the only one who gigglesnd. I'm thinking, seriously? You're the oldest damn psornerhorn in the room. Fuck me.

That was yesterday night. Tmorning I was sitting alone in our classroom before cumshot science, and I thought the door was popped open but it turns out it was closed and perforlockedandshit. At the class start time, I started brrying I was in the wrong place because I was still the only one there, and then TOM BOMB knocks on the door. There's a "window" so I can see it's Him, and the other proszistudents are there, too. I'm like "OH derp!" and I get up to open the door.

As he comes in, he says, "it's against the rules for a womanese udder to be alone in here, not that it's much beBetter now that I'm here" or some similar nonsensical thing. For fun I decide to wank with my bigTHudumb and get him to clarify exactly what he meant by that. There is a rule against stewardess tents being in classrooms without a teacher in the freshly bukkaked cockspant, so I actually wasn't supposed to be alone in there, plus in the military there were rules about "one on one" situations between men and women, so it was almost plausible that he was talking about a real thing.

So I was like, "Oh god?! Arkrssr" and he starts to fumble and push it off and gave head toward his desk jo, but I kept chewing like maybe he didn't LOVE me. "Tmmm. Wh le re u tring abouw? Whe schl orulesSM?" and he goes "noth, GNN, nevermond." I so, "h, wre you coming?" and he goes, "Yeah. Fucking Fajzu osi ofi grkrkrkrkerssss."

I was almost like because he was somewhat conshiite SHIT about it and actually seemed sincere in his "mmmgrkrkssgnaaaaa", as in "I made a mistake that I now regr" as opposed to "I'm so you GNN err can't take a cum". I swar I'm sch a softtouch .

[But]

Originally Posted by lisarea

Now I want to say some more stuff.

I think the real insidious part about things like that, and the reason I feel so awful for young girls who witness it, is the objectification of women. Not even the sexual objectification, but the fact that women are never the subjects or the presumed audience.

Even in the mainstream media, you are never ever going to see anyone genericizing studies done on women. Heart disease studies done on men are "health and medicine" stories, heart disease studies done on women are "women's health" stories. If you did a study that showed that heterosexual women's blood pressure fell or something when they were exposed to man sweat, the headlines wouldn't be "Male sweat lowers blood pressure." They'd make sure to tack on "in women" there. (Nevermind the heterosexism and other normativity, even, for now.) You almost wouldn't even know that there are probably about as many straight women as there are straight men.

But in tech industry things, it's even worse, and people are even more oblivious somehow. It at least used to be really common to punctuate tech talks with pictures of sexy ladies "just to make sure everyone is still awake lol" and things like that.

The idea that someone for whatever reason might actually be AMBIVALENT about looking at women's breasts literally would never occur to them. They're going to go on and on and on talking about how 'you' can improve your heart health by ogling women's breasts, based on a fake study of heterosexual men, and that 9 year old is learning that the presumption of maleness is so ingrained that someone can be talking right to her face and still not notice her there.

And the thing is, after working and being around that sort of thing long enough, you get used to it to the point that you barely even notice that you were being constantly being treated like you aren't there. Some women even play along, pretending to be gayer than they are, and/or treating other women badly, just to fit in and get approval from men.

The sexualizing is a problem, too, but it's really compounded by the fact that seemingly the only time they even notice that women exist is when they're sexualizing them.

That means like I read that is some serious brain stuff and shit because I know words and shit.

Sometimes I'm as if I mean also like some I have brain and shit.

There is this perfessor and You know yeah. He's a real scietnce teacher egghead and something. Logically talking, you yeah I mean.

I always punctuate my techno talks with pictures of sexy ladies just to make sure everyone is still awake and that stuff like that.

You know, I'm also not really dumb and shit like the other day where that skinny nerd sez to me in the shower: "Looks real smart on you, that muscle stuff."

[lisarea]

Are you N+ing on purpose or is this happening organically, like you have become some kind of an Oulipobot?

Is this the singularity? Can you see me waving from here? Hi, But! Hi! We've been waiting for you!

the entire Internet can see
what your underarms smell like all day
God is the final eigenvector
& some of the worst poetry

[The Man]

Beyond Titstare: 8 Other Tech Event Moments That Were Super Awkward for Women | Mother Jones

[Ensign Steve]

Catholic website says colleges aren't for women: 'Learn to be a wife and mother' | The Raw Story

It's hardly relevant to the main thrust of the article, but I still can't help but quote my favorite paragraph:

"[A] woman is naturally very observant of a man's faults as long as she is in a platonic relationship with him. Once she becomes sexually active with him, she releases hormones that mask his faults, and she remains in a dreamy state about him. We can see why God would arrange things in such a way so that when in a proper state of holy matrimony, she would be less sensitive to his faults and thereby less tempted to be critical of him."

It's like they've never even watched a sitcom!

[Janet]

I read that earlier in the week and wasn't sure if I really wanted to share it. Besides, I couldn't even force myself to finish reading it so why would I inflict it on you?

[BrotherMan]

The last two segments of Melissa Harris-Perry's Sunday show was dedicated to the relevance of the Miss America pageant. If you social justicars aren't watching her show, you should hang your head in shame because she is p good at what she do. I like the somewhat long form discussion of issues, both for people of color and lady stuff. And plus kudos for having panels of people relevant to the discussions. Unlike the congress dipshittery when talking about healthcare and birth control, this panel deconstructing pageants is all womens (omg, misandry!). My only problem with it all is common to all talking head television. When smart people are saying smart things I can't think about what they're saying because the next smart person is making smart words (in favor of or in opposition to) back and I get all .

[LadyShea]

Do what I do...listen now think later.

[Ensign Steve]

I am now hanging my head in shame. If it wasn't for Facebook, I wouldn't even know that Miss America happened or that she was Indian.

A Lot Of People Are Very Upset That An Indian-American Woman Won The Miss America Pageant

Public Shaming - Americans Call First Indian American Miss America Winner a Terrorist

[Watser?]

Yeah, apparently this is a thing that happened on Facebook.

I was especially impressed by people who just point out that 'this is America'. Is your point that the winner should have been American Indian?

[Kael]

Fucking people. Just... fuck.

[BrotherMan]

Oh, I didn't even know it happened. I was just watching a news show. Holy craps Americans can be douchenozzlebagholes. I mean, I knew that, but somehow it still gob smacks me every time I see it.

[erimir]

There are over 400 million tweets every day, most coming from the US. So I think it's easy to compile a number of vile tweets about most nationally known events, so I tend to take those things with a grain of salt when it comes to drawing conclusions about people/Americans generally.

I'd be more interested in seeing a statistical approach.

[lisarea]

Aaaand here is an update on the lady website, Bustle:

Lizzie Widdicombe: Bryan Goldberg’s Adventures in Women’s Publishing : The New Yorker

$100 a day was inexcusable, but he's apparently calling it an internship and paying FIFTY FUCKING DOLLARS A DAY‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽* I wonder what his all-male web development team makes. Does he consider them to be actual grownups doing real work, making them eligible to be paid a living wage?

Just FYI so everyone knows: You go to hell for that. For paying people shit, and for taking those jobs too. Hell. You go there.

This makes me feel a little better:

Interview With a Male CEO of a Women's Magazine | The Hairpin

* You can tell I'm really mad when I go to the trouble to cut and paste that many interrobangs.

[LadyShea]

Originally Posted by New Yorker article

"It didn’t feel like there was a Web site that felt like the Internet equivalent of watching MSNBC while painting my toenails.”

“It drives me nuts,” she said. “Seriously? I’m reading about Justin Bieber’s monkey and you’re referencing Nietzsche?”

“Men, to the best of my knowledge, don’t even read,” Goldberg said. “When’s the last time you heard a man say, ‘I’ve been reading this great book, you’d really like it’? My girlfriend always tells me about these books she’s reading, and I don’t even see her reading the book! Where does this book live?”

Um...yeah I got nothing

[Ari]

When you gaze long into Justin Beiber's monkey; Justin Beiber's monkey gazes into you!

[Dingfod]

The he left in Germany?

[Stormlight]

Watser? He's Justin Bieber's monkey? Well, I'll be ...

[Watser?]

Anyway, Justing Beaber is a made up person!

[SR71]

Originally Posted by LadyShea

She has never been to , because is just like that.