Jon Stewart Is Nobody's Monkey

[livius drusus]

Hooooly crap, y'all.

STEWART: I thought Al Sharpton was very impressive.

(LAUGHTER)

STEWART: I enjoyed his way of speaking.

I think, oftentimes, the person that knows they can't win is allowed to speak the most freely, because, otherwise, shows with titles, such as CROSSFIRE.

BEGALA: CROSSFIRE.

STEWART: Or "HARDBALL" or "I'm Going to Kick Your Ass" or...

(LAUGHTER)

STEWART: Will jump on it.

In many ways, it's funny. And I made a special effort to come on the show today, because I have privately, amongst my friends and also in occasional newspapers and television shows, mentioned this show as being bad.

(LAUGHTER)

BEGALA: We have noticed.

STEWART: And I wanted to -- I felt that that wasn't fair and I should come here and tell you that I don't -- it's not so much that it's bad, as it's hurting America.

STEWART: See, the thing is, we need your help. Right now, you're helping the politicians and the corporations. And we're left out there to mow our lawns.

BEGALA: By beating up on them? You just said we're too rough on them when they make mistakes.

STEWART: No, no, no, you're not too rough on them. You're part of their strategies. You are partisan, what do you call it, hacks.

BEGALA: Let me get this straight. If the indictment is -- if the indictment is -- and I have seen you say this -- that...

STEWART: Yes.

BEGALA: And that CROSSFIRE reduces everything, as I said in the intro, to left, right, black, white.

STEWART: Yes.

BEGALA: Well, it's because, see, we're a debate show.

STEWART: No, no, no, no, that would be great.

BEGALA: It's like saying The Weather Channel reduces everything to a storm front.

STEWART: I would love to see a debate show.

BEGALA: We're 30 minutes in a 24-hour day where we have each side on, as best we can get them, and have them fight it out.

STEWART: No, no, no, no, that would be great. To do a debate would be great. But that's like saying pro wrestling is a show about athletic competition.

STEWART: It's not honest. What you do is not honest. What you do is partisan hackery. And I will tell you why I know it.

CARLSON: You had John Kerry on your show and you sniff his throne and you're accusing us of partisan hackery?

STEWART: Absolutely.

CARLSON: You've got to be kidding me. He comes on and you...

(CROSSTALK)

STEWART: You're on CNN. The show that leads into me is puppets making crank phone calls.

(LAUGHTER)

STEWART: What is wrong with you?

(APPLAUSE) CARLSON: Well, I'm just saying, there's no reason for you -- when you have this marvelous opportunity not to be the guy's butt boy, to go ahead and be his butt boy. Come on. It's embarrassing.

STEWART: I was absolutely his butt boy. I was so far -- you would not believe what he ate two weeks ago.

(LAUGHTER)

(CROSSTALK)

STEWART: You know, the interesting thing I have is, you have a responsibility to the public discourse, and you fail miserably.

CARLSON: You need to get a job at a journalism school, I think.

STEWART: You need to go to one.

CARLSON: Wait. I thought you were going to be funny. Come on. Be funny.

STEWART: No. No. I'm not going to be your monkey.

CARLSON: I do think you're more fun on your show. Just my opinion.

(CROSSTALK)

CARLSON: OK, up next, Jon Stewart goes one on one with his fans...

(CROSSTALK)

STEWART: You know what's interesting, though? You're as big a dick on your show as you are on any show.

[LadyShea]

Whoah! Holy shit

[viscousmemories]

Man, what a cool transcript. I can't believe their only comeback was "You're a lot more fun at your own show, Jon". Another great quote:

STEWART: I watch your show every day. And it kills me.

CARLSON: I can tell you love it.

STEWART: It's so -- oh, it's so painful to watch.

(LAUGHTER)

STEWART: You know, because we need what you do. This is such a great opportunity you have here to actually get politicians off of their marketing and strategy.

CARLSON: Is this really Jon Stewart? What is this, anyway?

STEWART: Yes, it's someone who watches your show and cannot take it anymore.

(LAUGHTER)

STEWART: I just can't.

CARLSON: What's it like to have dinner with you? It must be excruciating. Do you like lecture people like this or do you come over to their house and sit and lecture them; they're not doing the right thing, that they're missing their opportunities, evading their responsibilities? STEWART: If I think they are.

(LAUGHTER)

CARLSON: I wouldn't want to eat with you, man. That's horrible.

STEWART: I know. And you won't.

[Lauri D]

SWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEET!

Rock on, Jon About time.

[The Lone Ranger]

Oh my goodness! At last, somebody has the guts to say that! I only hope that gets lots of air time (yeah, right).


The "political debate" shows I've seen have almost always been incredibly disappointing. Typically, it's one person who's somewhere to the right of Atilla the Hun "versus" some mealy-mouthed, slightly left-leaning Centrist. And that is their idea of "balance" and "fairness."

And Stewart's dead right -- such shows do inflict a tremendous amount of damage, in my opinion.


Sad that a comedian appears to be the most observant and politically savvy person on television.

Cheers,

Michael

[Dingfod]

Tucker Carlson is a dick. I thought everybody knew that.

[John the Non-Baptist]

Jon Stewart is fast becoming one of my heroes.

And yes, Tucker Carlson would indeed be in the dick category. Or would be, if he weren't dickless.

[ApostateAbe]

Watch the video, it is even more profound: http://www.ifilm.com/filmdetail?ifilmid=2652831

[Petra]

Originally Posted by ApostateAbe

Watch the video, it is even more profound: http://www.ifilm.com/filmdetail?ifilmid=2652831

[LadyXoc]

I second, third, fourth, etc. that.

[viscousmemories]

That's the best video clip I've seen in my whole life.

[lisarea]

Originally Posted by ApostateAbe

Watch the video, it is even more profound: http://www.ifilm.com/filmdetail?ifilmid=2652831

Thank you, Sir.

I'd read the transcript, but the actual footage is so much better, even.

That was just so beautiful.

[livius drusus]

Yes. Yes it was. Jon Stewart for God Emperor.

[viscousmemories]

MTV did a nice little article on this:

Jon Stewart Bitchslaps CNN's 'Crossfire' Show

[Socratoad]

Can't recall when I enjoyed anything more than that clip

[Lauri D]

Holy guacamole! Thanks for the link to the footage, AA - that was awesome!!!

Tucker Carlson's look of being caught totally off guard was priceless.

[Blake]

My god. Some of those lines read so much funnier in the transcript. When Jon says some of that stuff and the audience doesn't laugh--that's really sobering. That's a really wonderful television episode; now Jon Stewart is one of the people who makes me feel proud to be an American! Yes, I know, that's a cheezy cliche, but I like to say it when I can, after all the times that people who say it emptily accuse those of my ilk of not being proud of America. No, often, I'm not, but when someone actually lives up to the ideals the country is supposed to stand for all the time, damn right.

[beyelzu]

stewart was indeed


uberbadass.

[ApostateAbe]

Yahoo has a story on what happened afterward:
http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmp...son_vs_stewart

"I thought that he looked ridiculous," Carlson said in an interview Monday, "and I think the tape makes that clear."

Carlson said Stewart continued lecturing the "Crossfire" crew after the show went off the air. "I wasn't offended as much as I was unimpressed," he said.

Totally freakin sweet! I was wondering what they did off the air. Educating Carlson some more, that's what.

Stewart wasn't talking about the confrontation on Monday, a spokesman said. Comedy Central executive Tony Fox said there may be some regret over the vulgarity, but that Stewart has been a longtime critic of cable news networks and their political argument shows.

The comedian hasn't gone out of his way to endorse Kerry. In a public forum last week in New York, he was asked who he would vote for, and he said he'd back the Democrat.

Carlson noted that many of the great comedians kept their political opinions to themselves, not for fear of offending anyone, but because it could hurt their art.

"You're selling out," he said. "If you are a satirist or an acute social observer, and he is, and all of a sudden you suspend disbelief on someone or suck up rather than prod or poke someone, people will look at you and say, `Even if I agree with you, I don't like it,'" he said.

Fox said "The Daily Show" poked fun at people in power, regardless of their party. Most people who watch Stewart are aware that he leans to the left politically.

"I don't think it really impacts the show at all," he said. "The show does what it does regardless of Jon's political persuasion."

[pzmyers]

You know, after I saw that, I was thinking...I could be gay. It wouldn't be so bad.

Jon Stewart is advancing the homosexual agenda by being so darn scrumptious!

[livius drusus]

That's just hot.

[Megatron]

Man, that was some prime shit.

[Clutch Munny]

Originally Posted by livius drusus

That's just hot.

Not as hot as girl-on-girl penguin sex, I remind you.

[livius drusus]

Well let's not hold the pz-on-Jon scene up to impossible standards. The penguin lesbo action is really more of an asymptote than a realistic hotness goal.

[Goliath]

Originally Posted by pzmyers

You know, after I saw that, I was thinking...I could be gay. It wouldn't be so bad.

Jon Stewart is advancing the homosexual agenda by being so darn scrumptious!