A New Candidate?

[freemonkey]

There's an effort to elect an unknown random person as President Watch this online video about the surprising new nominee:

A new candidate for president

[Ymir's blood]

You've got my vote.

[viscousmemories]

lol, love gramma's tramp stamp.

[Qingdai]

Can I say I knew you when?

[Shelli]

Go, freemonkey!!1!

[Dingfod]

If I get the extreme privilege to be elected President of these United States of America, I promise to end all this political bickering by stopping all further elections. It's the only way to unite Americans.

[freemonkey]

[Pinecone]

freemonkey freemonkey freemonkey

[Deadlokd]

I'll vote for you.

[Dingfod]

Twice, maybe three times.

[chunksmediocrites]

I'm an issues voter, and I need to know your platform before I can change my vote.
Will there be a chicken for every pot?
Tippecanoe AND Tyler too?
Can I vote myself a farm?
Will I get a full dinner pail?
Can you whip inflation now?
Is it the economy, stupid?
Can I read your lips, no noo dacks is? (I have no formal training in lip-reading)
Do you neither ask, nor tell?
Has the uh, mission, been, uh, accomplished?
Will you fight them over there so we don't have to fight them over here?
Will a vote for you keep the terrorists from winning? Well, how about will it keep us from losing, I mean any more than we already have?
Boxers, briefs, day-glo zebra-striped bannana hammock, french cut, thong, bloomers, or commando?
How do you feel about good neccessary Jack Bauer-style torture, as opposed to the bad torture the bad evil baddies do?
Do you really, really, really, totally love Israel? BFF?
If it is yellow, do you let it mellow, but if it is brown, flush it down?
Do you support our troops, no matter what, and by support them I mean never bring them home even if they shouldn't have gone there in the first place and the number one thing the people there can agree on is they want our troops to leave?
Whatever else happens, will I still be able to watch the new Foxy-Boxing combined with COPS reality show*, or play HALO-Theft-Autobots on my X-Play-Box-Station-Wii**, while eating microwave pizzas and drinking energy drinks***? In my Hummer****?
*meaning Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles
**well, actually all I have is a Playstation I that I haven't played in years, with the game Medieval II.
***or some Kettle Chips and a glass of tap water.
****meaning my late 80's schwinn ten-speed. Or maybe in our '82 Honda Accord.

[freemonkey]

Originally Posted by chunksmediocrites

I'm an issues voter, and I need to know your platform before I can change my vote.
Will there be a chicken for every pot?
Tippecanoe AND Tyler too?
Can I vote myself a farm?
Will I get a full dinner pail?
Can you whip inflation now?
Is it the economy, stupid?
Can I read your lips, no noo dacks is? (I have no formal training in lip-reading)
Do you neither ask, nor tell?
Has the uh, mission, been, uh, accomplished?
Will you fight them over there so we don't have to fight them over here?
Will a vote for you keep the terrorists from winning? Well, how about will it keep us from losing, I mean any more than we already have?
Boxers, briefs, day-glo zebra-striped bannana hammock, french cut, thong, bloomers, or commando?
How do you feel about good neccessary Jack Bauer-style torture, as opposed to the bad torture the bad evil baddies do?
Do you really, really, really, totally love Israel? BFF?
If it is yellow, do you let it mellow, but if it is brown, flush it down?
Do you support our troops, no matter what, and by support them I mean never bring them home even if they shouldn't have gone there in the first place and the number one thing the people there can agree on is they want our troops to leave?
Whatever else happens, will I still be able to watch the new Foxy-Boxing combined with COPS reality show*, or play HALO-Theft-Autobots on my X-Play-Box-Station-Wii**, while eating microwave pizzas and drinking energy drinks***? In my Hummer****?
*meaning Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles
**well, actually all I have is a Playstation I that I haven't played in years, with the game Medieval II.
***or some Kettle Chips and a glass of tap water.
****meaning my late 80's schwinn ten-speed. Or maybe in our '82 Honda Accord.

yes.
Maybe.
By all means.
If u wants ur cheezburgur inna bukkit, u kin haz ur cheezburger inna bukkit.
like they was mashed potatoes.
It is the economy, except when it's not.
I say "so few factses"
I ask, I tell. Sharing is caring.
Mission? What mission?
Fighting, schmiting. Who's got the time?
Terror?

I propose to use the "locked in an echo chamber with crying babies" as a means to extort get confessions.*
Israel? Why can't they all just get along?
I like to conserve water, what's the big deal? Mind your own beeswax, dude.
I would bring all the troops home, and then I have a few guys I'd send in their place. To clean up, if you will.
You can have all that stuff, except the Hummer (unless you need the Hummer to double as your house). The cool kids are going to school.

* I have not actually seen the show. Not the one with Kiefer Sutherland, anyway.