11 year old boy scout found alive

[fatherphil]

i don't get it. the 11 year olds i've dealt with are pretty naive in many ways and are in no way wise to the ways of the world. they are easily manipulated and can have an unrealistic view of the world especially when under stress. i pointed out a story i experienced with a 13 year old that might help you see this.

[Beth]

I have known some very immature 11 year olds and some very mature ones. I know several adults- nearly 20 who still do not seem mature enough to leave home. Some people just mature emotionally and mentally slower than others

. One also has to factor in the fact that there have been many highly publicized child abductions and murders. These cases alone have sent my kids into paranoia. A paranoia that I am working on trying help them overcome. That little boy may not have realized that people would be searching for him and saw each stranger as a potential killer. Compound this with any horror flick about people being lost in the woods (granted this kid probably had to sneak access to these), it is very possible this kid hid in terror. I'm sure the kid feels really stupid and ashamed now that he found out that he hid from his rescuers, but the past cannot be changed. He's safe. It's over.

[fatherphil]

plus micheal jackson was running around a free man or whatever.

[fatherphil]

Originally Posted by Beth

I'm sure the kid feels really stupid and ashamed now that he found out that he hid from his rescuers

now that would be a tragedy, don't you think?

[SharonDee]

I read in one of the news articles that the kid was described--by a parent--as being not mentally retarded but socially... something. Underdeveloped, maybe?

I can't find that news article again so y'all can [or can't] take my word for it.

[lisarea]

Originally Posted by fatherphil

i don't get it. the 11 year olds i've dealt with are pretty naive in many ways and are in no way wise to the ways of the world. they are easily manipulated and can have an unrealistic view of the world especially when under stress. i pointed out a story i experienced with a 13 year old that might help you see this.

I've known plenty of 11 year olds, and I'm at least a little familiar with child psychology. I don't think I've ever met an 11 year old who was that naive. It is not normal. I'm quite aware that they're not adults yet, but they should be much farther along than that.

If the kid's just slow in some way, that's one thing. If, on the other hand, he's sheltered and paranoid, that's another. I do think it speaks to a much larger issue, in which parents teach their children some bizarre type of black and white morality, almost by rote, but never give them the skills to apply to new situations.

[fatherphil]

black and white comes first, skills later. although my kids never seem to want to hear the what fors, their just too pissed at the prohibition to care much.

[livius drusus]

Originally Posted by fatherphil

black and white comes first, skills later.

Huh? No it doesn't. My mom used to tell me not to open the gate for anyone but John Travolta. She was kidding, of course, but that's just because John Travolta wasn't likely to ring the buzzer. The point is kids learn caveats and exceptions to rules all the times, sometimes on their own and other times taught by parents.

Do you think it's a wise thing to teach a child in such a manner that he would starve in a forest for 4 days because he can't tell the difference between a potential abductor and the authorities? Surely the aim is to teach your kids how to get along as well as possible.

[fatherphil]

sounds like she didn't want you to open the gate for anyone then.

[livius drusus]

Anyone but John Travolta. The point is it's simply not true that parents only teach in black and white until some mystery age when suddenly exceptions, caveats, adaptation spring forth fully formed like Athena from Zeus' head.

[lisarea]

Originally Posted by fatherphil

black and white comes first, skills later. although my kids never seem to want to hear the what fors, their just too pissed at the prohibition to care much.

Yes, people progress though various stages of development on any number of levels. An 11 year old should be much farther along than that, though. He should have the common sense and the judgement to realize that there are reasonable exceptions to rules.

[fatherphil]

yeah, i brought mine up along in stages.

when is it safe for a lost and scared child to be approached by a stranger in an isolated place? i could see how this could be tough to figure out. well i'm glad they found the kid.

[SharonDee]

I never found the article I was talking about but according to this story, "The couple said their son was born prematurely, and they described him as immature and a little slow, but not mentally disabled."

That sounds like what I read the day he was reported found.