Scathing review of Guy Fieri's restaurant in NYC

[vremya]

ICEBURN

"Hey, did you try that blue drink, the one that glows like nuclear waste? The watermelon margarita? Any idea why it tastes like some combination of radiator fluid and formaldehyde?"

I can't remember the last time I saw radiator fluid and formaldehyde mentioned in a restaurant review.

[curses]

Just watch one of his "shows" on Food Network. This review doesn't come as any surprise to me. He's not about quality, he's about whoring himself out to the highest bidder.

[Demimonde]

Also, in the case of my favorite burger joint, branding his name on the bar and encouraging the owner to raise prices and go all bougiefied. Because HEY NOW WE ARE FAMOUS!

[curses]

Oh, and here's his response:
Guy Fieri fires back at searing NYTs restaurant review

Fieri didn't think it was fair to visit the restaurant four times in two months.

I'll give him the fact that yeah, it's a new restaurant. But dear god-the two restaurants I helped open had their shit together by the second week!

[Waluigi]

It was an overboard review, I'll give Fieri that. It was obviously meant to be sensationalist. Edit: and Guy is almost too easy to pick on because he's such an over-the-top douchebag.

Nevertheless, you don't launch if you're not ready, and if you're still not ready after two months, then when will you be?

[Sock Puppet]

And when we hear the words Donkey Sauce, which part of the donkey are we supposed to think about?

[BrotherMan]

It's probably wrong of me to filter this by my terrible propensity to watch Kicken Nightmares (even the loathable American version), but really, that's all I got to gage effort, value, quality in restaurants besides my own "does it taste okay" ability.

He went on to say, "The tone, the sarcasm, the question style." Fieri didn't think it was fair to visit the restaurant four times in two months. "That's tough times, especially this size of a restaurant."

It really shouldn't matter if the person visited once or a hundred times in any span of time. The quality of the food is the chief concern here. I do understand sometimes things just happen or go wonky in business. But really, if the overall impression out of four visits is that the food prep, presentation and flavor are mediocre at best then you've got a problem in that restaurant.

Savannah noted that 56 reviews on Yelp give Guy's American Kitchen and Bar an average of 2.5 stars out of five, so it's not knocking people's socks off. "At two months? Not really expecting to," said Fieri. "I mean, we're trying to. We're trying as hard as we can to make it right, to do it right. ... Is it perfect right now? No. ... Let's see where we are in six months."

If you're happy with being average, which is your prerogative I guess, then you may as well change the name of all your establishments to Applebee's or TGIF because you don't want to stand out. Somehow you made a name for yourself and now you're just putting your name on crap and that's just plain lazy.

And he said, "To me, it's impossible to come in and have a dining experience and have every single thing is wrong, unless you come in with a different agenda and you want to sensationalize something and you want to blow it out of the water. It's a great way to make a name for yourself — go after a celebrity chef that's not a New Yorker that's doing big concept in his second month. Great way to hit it," he said, punching his hand.

It is possible because it's happened to me several times. Granted these weren't big name super celebrity chef restaurants but it has happened. That it can happen in high dollar chain restaurants with big money names on the front is also possible. Did you or one of your minions investigate what may be going wrong in one of the premiere establishments with your name on it? Or are you relying on the high customer turnover in Times Square to not give a shit that they never come back? What's the lazy option here?

And Fieri added, "I stand by my food. I stand by my team."

"Come on guys! You're standing by crap! You're better than this."

I get it, man. It hurts to get your peepee stuck in the dirt like that. But standing there and saying "I know you are but what am I?" isn't going to make your food any better.

For the record, I like Diners Drive Ins and Dives. Sometimes he finds a great place that does awesome work, but more often than not he finds the Dive that serves the sloppy comfort food that I love, and I'm okay with that.

[BrotherMan]

double double boil and trouble

[vremya]

Originally Posted by curses

Oh, and here's his response:
Guy Fieri fires back at searing NYTs restaurant review

I'll give him the fact that yeah, it's a new restaurant. But dear god-the two restaurants I helped open had their shit together by the second week!

I think two months is plenty of time to work out major problems, like food not tasting good and bad service.

[Janet]

Actually, that wasn't even the nastiest review I read of that restaurant in the last two day. The Crispy Crimes of Guy Fieri is even more fun to read.

[Stephen Maturin]

Mr. Fieri’s most egregious transgression isn’t what he puts into his fellow citizens’ stomachs, it’s how the cynical slop interfaces with what he puts into their minds.

That's gonna leave a mark.

[vremya]

Thing is, getting all butthurt about bad reviews doesn't make the food taste any better, iy just make poor Guy look like a fool.

[livius drusus]

I like Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives too. They've found some neat places on that show, although I hope the tragedy Demi speaks of hasn't ruined them all.

Having said that, Guy Ferry (lol @ him changing his name to sound less like a Roxy Music singer and more like someone from a culture of outstanding food) whining on TV that he's being "bullied" by reviewers with an "agenda" makes me want to punch him in the back of the neck. Yes, I would hit a guy with glasses, right on the glasses, no less.

Your restaurant blows on its own terms. Accept that and fix it if you give a shit. If not, just go back to media whoring around with your and insisting that producers of DDD warn you when a chef acts kinda gay.

[Waluigi]

Yeah, I have to balance my love of the food and eateries featured on Triple-D with my increasing dislike of the show's host. He's getting more difficult to ignore as he feels compelled to keep amping up the irreverence. At this point, he's almost a parody of himself from the first few seasons.

[lisarea]

I wholly endorse Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives, too, for giving a real boost to small family owned businesses, and Fieri usually seems genuinely enthusiastic about them. So I like that. I think he's good at that, despite his well known dudebro issues.

I've never been convinced that he's a good cook, though. With cooking shows on TV, there's always a sort of leap of faith you have to take. You know, you have to assume that the presenters are sincere about their appreciation of something, even if it doesn't look appealing or if it's a strange combo and you can't figure out how it works. But I can never manage that leap when Fieri is cooking. Most of what he makes looks just gimmicky and sometimes pretty gross.

[curses]

OOOH teh dramaz! OK, not really. Consumerist is running an article about the popularity of Fieri's restaurant with the "Dead Dove" crowd* It is pretty much just what they were told in the first scathing review.



*

Dead Dove Do Not Eat - YouTube

[livius drusus]

They must be bummed the blue nuclear waste beverage was taken off the menu after the review.

[curses]

This is going to be my catch-all Guy Fieri hate thread.

Dear God he's branching out:

Food Network chef Guy Fieri wants to open a wine tasting room in Santa Rosa | PressDemocrat.com

[Ymir's blood]

The FIEND!

[Janet]

I was in Seattle for a conference last weekend and I swear every time I surfed past Food Network that human embodiment of cheese fries was on there. Damned disturbing.

[curses]

Originally Posted by Janet

...human embodiment of cheese fries...

We went to the movie theater over the weekend and there, hanging high above the food court, was Guy Fieri ('s picture hawking some stupid crap or other). I can't escape him!

[BrotherMan]

[Janet]

Guy Fieri didn't bother to register the domain name of his restaurant. So someone did it for him.

[livius drusus]

I'm attaching the full size image of that menu because the details are a little hard to read on the website and they're fucking hilarious. Whoever did this is a damn genius.

[Stephen Maturin]

lol Kalimaaaaaaaaa!