World to North Korea : It's Quite Possible That You Suck

[TomJoe]

... at testing nuclear devices.

It is possible there was no radiological data. That could be the case if: the North Koreans successfully sealed the site; it was such a small detonation and so deep underground there was no escape of nuclear debris; or the test was actually conventional explosives.

[California Tanker]

It almost certainly wasn't a successful test, 'fizzle' is probably closer to the truth.

NTM

[Sauron]

Sometimes I think the most effective weapon against North Korea would be to have a world-wide Mock-a-Thon forcibly broadcast into Korea.


They're so tightly wrapped up in their rigid self-congratulation that it might be the *only* thing capable of penetrating the indoctrination.

[Ari]

Well I bet most citizens are being told it was a massive nuclear explosion that put fear into the hearts of evil oppressors like America.

[TomJoe]

Originally Posted by Ari

Well I bet most citizens are being told it was a massive nuclear explosion that put fear into the hearts of evil oppressors like America.

You can count on it. And they're also probably saying that we're on the verge of attacking them too.

[Ari]

I watched the beginning of Oprah the other day to see a small portion of Lisa Lings trip into NK, quite interesting, wish I had cable to watch the full program. She went with some eye surgeons and after fixing cataracts the people got up and thanked a picture of the first emperor of NK and the current crazy dude for healing them and never even acknowledged the doctors as having a hand in the healing. There are no advertisements except government propaganda banners and no tv, radio or news link to the outside world.
I bet only a handful of North Koreans know that either there was no nuke or it failed to work properly.

I'm betting it was TNT or other explosives, as a general nuclear explosion isn't that complicated with the right material.

[IRON MAN]

You mean you guys have never read the North Korean newspaper directly?

Fuck you guys are gonna love this: http://www.kcna.co.jp/index-e.htm

I took a skim through it, and here it is straight from the horse's mouth:

DPRK Successfully Conducts Underground Nuclear Test
Pyongyang, October 9 (KCNA) -- The Korean Central News Agency released the following report: The field of scientific research in the DPRK successfully conducted an underground nuclear test under secure conditions on October 9, Juche 95 (2006) at a stirring time when all the people of the country are making a great leap forward in the building of a great prosperous powerful socialist nation.
It has been confirmed that there was no such danger as radioactive emission in the course of the nuclear test as it was carried out under a scientific consideration and careful calculation.
The nuclear test was conducted with indigenous wisdom and technology 100 percent. It marks a historic event as it greatly encouraged and pleased the KPA and people that have wished to have powerful self-reliant defence capability.
It will contribute to defending the peace and stability on the Korean Peninsula and in the area around it.

DPRK Foreign Ministry Spokesman on U.S. Moves Concerning Its Nuclear Test
Pyongyang, October 11 (KCNA) -- A spokesman for the DPRK Foreign Ministry issued the following statement Wednesday as regards the U.S. ill-boding moves in the wake of the nuclear test in the DPRK: As we have already declared the field of scientific research of the DPRK successfully conducted an underground nuclear test under secure conditions on Oct. 9 as a new measure for bolstering its war deterrent for self-defence.
The DPRK's nuclear test was entirely attributable to the U.S. nuclear threat, sanctions and pressure.
The DPRK has exerted every possible effort to settle the nuclear issue through dialogue and negotiations, prompted by its sincere desire to realize the denuclearization of the Korean Peninsula.
The Bush administration, however, responded to our patient and sincere efforts and magnanimity with the policy of sanctions and blockade.
The DPRK was compelled to substantially prove its possession of nukes to protect its sovereignty and right to existence from the daily increasing danger of war from the U.S.
Although the DPRK conducted the nuclear test due to the U.S., it still remains unchanged in its will to denuclearize the peninsula through dialogue and negotiations.
The denuclearization of the entire peninsula was President Kim Il Sung's last instruction and an ultimate goal of the DPRK.
The DPRK's nuclear test does not contradict the September 19 joint statement under which it committed itself to dismantle nuclear weapons and abandon the existing nuclear program. On the contrary, it constitutes a positive measure for its implementation.
The DPRK clarified more than once that it would feel no need to possess even a single nuke when it is no longer exposed to the U.S. threat after it has dropped its hostile policy toward the DPRK and confidence has been built between the two countries.
No sooner had the DPRK, which had already pulled out of the NPT and, accordingly, is no longer bound to international law, declared that it conducted a nuclear test than the U.S. manipulated the UN Security Council to issue a resolution pressurizing Pyongyang, an indication of the disturbing moves to impose collective sanctions upon it.
The DPRK is ready for both dialogue and confrontation.
If the U.S. increases pressure upon the DPRK, persistently doing harm to it, it will continue to take physical countermeasures, considering it as a declaration of a war.

This is basically the only propaganda ... I mean, news ... they get over there. You dolphin-huggers best remember that if you get the urge to believe Kim Jong-Il is any kind of victim.

You might also want to read the absolute bullshit in the rest of the paper to get some idea of accuracy.

It's always the same. The headlines always run along these lines:

Kim Jong-Il receives fruit basket from Nigeria, (or some other loser country), honouring him.

National day of celebration declared for Kim Il-Sung's birthday, (Kim Jong-Il's dead daddy).

South Korean students protest for reunification of South Korea with the DPRK ... well two of them do anyway.

South Korea wants US troops out, (so they can reunify with the North and live under the rule of Kim Jong-Il no doubt).

US invasion plans thwarted by our Dear Leader, Kim Jong-Il, (again).

US moves to pressure South Korean government condemned ... by Uganda, (how can you lose with friends like that?)

Cuba really really thinks Kim Jong-Il is a great guy.

Everyone in the world is in awe of our technology and great country, and wish they could get theirs to run like the well-oiled socialist machine the DPRK is.

Kim Jong-Il single-handedly creates new technological breakthrough - Windows 3.1

If you really want some fun, don't forget to check out the rest of the country's scary website: http://www.korea-dpr.com/

[Watser?]

Originally Posted by IRON MAN

This is basically the only propaganda ... I mean, news ... they get over there. You dolphin-huggers best remember that if you get the urge to believe Kim Jong-Il is any kind of victim.

Eh, Don Quijote, nobody on this board ever claimed anything even remotely like that.

[IRON MAN]

Originally Posted by Watser?

Eh, Don Quijote, nobody on this board ever claimed anything even remotely like that.

Eh, over-reactive monkey, I never claimed anything even remotely like that anybody on this board ever claimed anything even remotely like that.

It's just that since some people think that George W. Bush is the root of all evil, and US foreign policy is always wrong, that some people might start to buy into the propaganda. I'm just pointing out that would be a bad idea considering the other factual errors you can find in North Korean claims.

That's the problem with Satanising anything by the way, everything else must be better by comparison.


In reviewing the DPRK website, I found something else rather interesting.

Kim Jong-Il has always been referred to as the "Dear Leader", as opposed to his dad, Kim Il-Sung, the "Great Leader".

Now I notice the terms getting used interchangeably on the DPRK website, referring to them both as "Great Leader", and "Dear Leader", at different points.

This is possibly an error in translation, but for something of such importance to them it seems suspicious.

Could Jong-Il be trying to rewrite history and switch the titles around?


Note: Koreans names are backwards. Kim is the family name of both these men, (an extremely common name in Korea).

[TomJoe]

Interesting Iron Man. Thanks for the snippets and links.

[IRON MAN]

Originally Posted by TomJoe

Interesting Iron Man. Thanks for the snippets and links.

My pleasure. Korean culture is amazing, when you get right into it, almost to an unbelievable degree*. They're a bit xenophobic, but who can blame them considering their history and location between China and Japan?

What I can't for the life of me figure out, is how a people with their history can tolerate that fuckhead Kim Jong-Il. From what I know of them I would have thought they, (the North Koreans), would have fixed his little red wagon themselves a long time ago.

I'm still hoping they will one day soon, and if not join the rest of the world, at least be able to rejoin or resume normal relations with the South. Those people just don't know what they are missing by putting up with that goofy-haired freak of nature.


*The most bizarre fact about the Korean peninsula is that it is the most homogeneous area in the world. I don't even know how such a thing is possible considering their location, let alone the degree.

[Dragar]

There's a bit of controversy over whether it was real or not.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/asi...ic/6050236.stm

US scientists found that there were traces of radioactive gas in the air near the site of last Monday's alleged nuclear test.

White House officials cautioned that this result alone did not confirm a successful test but it could mean that a nuclear test had been attempted...

Both South Korean and Chinese scientists said earlier they had detected no evidence of radioactivity in air, soil and rainwater tests.

[viscousmemories]

US Verifies Korean Test Was Nuclear

[Ari]

Guess I was wrong, they weren't faking it, they were just bad at it.

It would be interesting if it failed because of poor design or lack of enough explodable material.

I wonder if this is all leading up to north Korea saying they will disarm if we give them things.

[Dingfod]

Bad at it, or better at it than you think? Did they detonate it inside a cavern or tunnel rather than a well bore? That would make quite a bit of difference in how much of the blast was transfered to the ground.

[Ari]

Possibly. Although since this seems to be geared as a demonstration towards the rest of the world you would think they wouldn't purposefully pick a spot that makes their weapon look smaller than it is. I guess we will see if they set off another one.

[Dingfod]

If all they wanted to do was prove it to the rest of the world, a surface or aerial test explosion would've been best.

[Ari]

But would that have been too much?
I would think the image of a mushroom cloud would send the rest of the world, especially Japan, into a massive frenzy and might overplay NK's hand. They would also have a bit harder time convincing the public they made a safe test that contained the radiation.

[JackDog]

N. Korea Detonates 40 Years Of GDP
Remains Of Country's Economy Sent Deep Into Earth's Core

Across the country, North Korean citizens cheered wildly after learning their nation had violently transformed the equivalent of 2.3 billion hot meals, 11 million housing units, and 1,700 hospitals into their component atoms. Others celebrated by gleaning recently harvested rice paddies for leftover grains.

"This fraction-of-a-second blast is what I, and my parents before me, have given up everything to achieve," said tractor driver Chin Lee-Park, whose machine was cannibalized for bomb derrick parts in 1997.

"It is truly a great day for North Korea," added Lee-Park, who then died due to a combination of malnutrition and tuberculosis.

http://www.theonion.com/content/node/54113

[ms_ann_thrope]

Seriously, The Onion piece above pretty much captures my feelings about, well, Kim Jong-Il's regime in general. I know that the correct term isn't "genocide," but does anyone know how else to describe the combination of chronic malnutrition, political suppression, and human rights violations that are hallmarks of leadership under "Dear Leader"? I cannot imagine what life is like for the average North Korean. Even if citizens wanted to rise up against the government, I can't see how they'd literally have the physical strength to.

For some really depressing reading, visit the Korea Institute for National Unification website to check out some of their white papers on human rights in North Korea.

[Adam]

Originally Posted by Ari

I wonder if this is all leading up to north Korea saying they will disarm if we give them things.

That's been the routine every other damn time they've started down this track. I dunno why they'd change now.

[California Tanker]

I'm just wondering how much more of this the Chinese can tolerate before they quietly send someone in to 'fix the problem.'

NTM'