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03-11-2010, 05:36 AM
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lagomorph lover
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Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: North Carolina
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shaved lips sink ships
Taking distracted driving to a disturbing new level...
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(March 8) -- Sometimes multitasking has its limits.
Such is the case in the Florida Keys, where police say a 37-year-old woman crashed her 1995 Ford Thunderbird into another car as she attempted to shave her bikini area.
According to the arrest report, on March 2, Megan Mariah Barnes told Florida State Trooper Gary Dunick that she was on her way to Key West to meet her boyfriend, and that she "wanted to be ready for the visit." So, police say she had her ex-husband, Charles Judy, who was riding in the passenger seat, take the wheel while she attended to her pubic hair.
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03-11-2010, 05:39 AM
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mostly harmless
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Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Nunya
Gender: Male
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Re: shaved lips sink ships
Just couldn't have done that before she left her place, huh?
__________________
Through with oligarchy? Ready to get the money out of politics? Want real progressives in office who will work for the people and not the donors? Want to help grow The Squad?
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03-11-2010, 05:46 AM
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mostly harmless
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Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Nunya
Gender: Male
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Re: shaved lips sink ships
Oh ... go click the link below for the pictures. There are other geniuses who got into trouble with the law, but I stopped at #7, these guys:
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Permanently Marked: Police in Carroll, Iowa, received a call that two men with painted faces tried to break into an apartment Oct. 23. Officers soon found Matthew McNelly, left, and Joey Miller, right, who had apparently tried to cover their faces with permanent black marker. The pair face burglary charges.
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(emphasis mine) You've gotta see the pic.
Another one:
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Not So Ladylike: Dean Gardener, 19, and Jason Fender, 22, apparently thought they found some easy targets when they began picking on two guys wearing wigs, short skirts and high heels in Swansea, Wales. Their intended targets turned out to be cage fighters, and the attackers were quickly subdued. In early October, they pleaded guilty to abusive behavior.
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__________________
Through with oligarchy? Ready to get the money out of politics? Want real progressives in office who will work for the people and not the donors? Want to help grow The Squad?
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03-11-2010, 06:59 AM
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Projecting my phallogos with long, hard diction
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Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Dee Cee
Gender: Male
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Re: shaved lips sink ships
I particularly like how she was driving to go fuck her boyfriend, with her ex-husband in the car, and was just like "Hey, can you take the wheel? I need to shave my cooch so that it's nice and smooth when I'm fucking that guy I replaced you with."
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Thanks, from:
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ChuckF (03-11-2010), chunksmediocrites (03-11-2010), Clutch Munny (03-11-2010), curses (03-11-2010), Deadlokd (03-11-2010), godfry n. glad (03-11-2010), Kael (03-11-2010), livius drusus (03-11-2010), Nullifidian (03-11-2010), One for Sorrow (03-11-2010), Stormlight (03-11-2010), Watser? (03-11-2010), Zehava (03-11-2010)
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03-11-2010, 07:16 AM
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Vaginally-privileged sociopathic cultist
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Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: La Mer
Gender: Female
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Re: shaved lips sink ships
That's because it's Florida, dear.
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03-11-2010, 04:14 PM
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Vice Cobra Assistant Commander
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Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Indianapolis, IN, USA
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Re: shaved lips sink ships
I'm less concerned with the "shaving while driving" bit than I am with the "driving while shaving" bit. That's delicate work!
__________________
"Trans Am Jesus" is "what hanged me"
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03-11-2010, 05:05 PM
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liar in wolf's clothing
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Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Frequently about
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Re: shaved lips sink ships
Quote:
Originally Posted by erimir
I particularly like how she was driving to go fuck her boyfriend, with her ex-husband in the car, and was just like "Hey, can you take the wheel? I need to shave my cooch so that it's nice and smooth when I'm fucking that guy I replaced you with."
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Yeah but I bet she said it all classy-like!
Quote:
Originally Posted by Adam
I'm less concerned with the "shaving while driving" bit than I am with the "driving while shaving" bit. That's delicate work!
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If we put a tax on every razor blade...
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03-11-2010, 05:25 PM
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THIS IS REALLY ADVANCED ENGLISH
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Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: so far out, I'm too far in
Gender: Bender
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Re: shaved lips sink ships
That wouldn't make it progressive. The tax has to be on a per-follicle basis to be fair. I haven't worked out a system for cootercounting, but that doesn't make my idea ridiculously implausible.
__________________
In loyalty to their kind
They cannot tolerate our minds
In loyalty to our kind
We cannot tolerate their obstruction - Airplane, Jefferson
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03-11-2010, 05:26 PM
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Vice Cobra Assistant Commander
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Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Indianapolis, IN, USA
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Re: shaved lips sink ships
Sack, some asshole needs to get in your face and give you shit until you stop supporting razorburn.
__________________
"Trans Am Jesus" is "what hanged me"
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03-11-2010, 05:47 PM
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Solipsist
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Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Kolmannessa kerroksessa
Gender: Male
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Re: shaved lips sink ships
Obviously a simple misunderstanding. "You drive, I want a close shave."
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03-11-2010, 10:17 PM
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A fellow sophisticate
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Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Cowtown, Kansas
Gender: Male
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Re: shaved lips sink ships
No one hates
Road rash
More than
Trailer Trash
Burma Shave
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